I've always been a good listener. Although I am fairly outgoing, I would describe myself as reserved considering I like to keep most of my thoughts and problems to myself. I'm always the friend that people run to when they need to vent about the boy that broke their heart or the horrible day they've had or tell me some extravagant and exciting story about their dreams. Most of the time, I love being the listener, but not recently.
Coming to college, I thought that my advisors and professors had all the answers. I thought that whatever they told me was true and that's what I had to live my college experience by. If I don't have internships and extra credit and get involved in 50,000 clubs that might make my resume look slightly more impressive, i'll never get a job or be successful. While some of this may be true, an incident I had with my advisor made me confused and question why in the world I was letting the opinions of my advisors and professors determine my success and progress so far.
Recently, I had my fall semester advising. During this meeting time, my advisor made several comments to me regarding my dreams to go back to my roots and settle down in my hometown of almost 20 years, Charleston. He explained to me that I was limiting myself and being foolish if I thought that I could stay in one place forever. I carefully listened to every little demeaning thing that he was saying, shook his hand, grabbed my backpack, and tried to control every ounce of my boiling anger as I exited the small and uncomfortable office.
This topped the stressful week that I was already having and eventually led to a series of breakdowns, which then led me to the revelation that one man's opinion really didn't determine my life plans. And really, no one's opinions determine my life plans. There's a time and a place to listen, and it wasn't there in that moment.
In college, we get so stressed about success and what we have to do to reach that. But who's to say we can't reach success simply by doing the best that we can? Who's to say that we can't reach success by loving people and building relationships with people?
I want to stop letting the overbearing weight of the world on my shoulders tell me I'm not good enough. I'm tired of listening to the world trying to tell me who I'm going to be. I want to listen when it's time, and rest in the confidence that I have in myself when it's not.
