We all can think back to the mini heart attack moment when we received the university email notifying us of our roommate assignments at the very beginning of summer before our first year of college. Crossing our fingers in hopes our roommate wasn’t a psycho, we excessively trolled through Facebook to get a glimpse of who we’d be breathing the same air with.

As naive freshmen, we had expectations of the picture
perfect roommate story- you laugh together, you cry together, you share food and trade clothes, she leaves your favorite cupcake on your desk when you’re having a rough day, takes care of you from your bloody toe to your bruised heart, and unfailingly tags along as your wing woman. Essentially, she is a “built in” best friend.

It could never go sour…right? WRONG. 

You can’t always trust the phony smile and straightedge front that she puts on in front of her parents.   

Until she starts blockading the bedroom door with your bed frame… 

Tries to implement a universal shower schedule and study cut off time… 

Continuously violates the roommate contract that she had so tyrannically composed herself… 

Makes politically incorrect slurs regarding the Jewish race (while your Jewish friend is present)… 

And requests that you stop breathing in your sleep… 

Do you realize the cold reality you’ve found yourself in- you are living an entire year with a soulless monster with dead eyes. I mean it’s unusual enough that she “follows” the moral code of a Puritan society, sporting Victorian nightgowns to bed and shunning boys from the room.   

She can awake at the sound of a pin drop. 

Maybe squishing in a twin size bed with your best friend down the hall doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.  

 Anyhow, so naturally, you try to be the bigger person and address the problem: you make it a point to have your R.A. facilitate a roommate meeting to provide for an open line of communication and hash out which obstacles are preventing the room from being a peaceful environment to coexist in…all signs point to one thing: your psychotic dictator of a roommate. Sadly, even your R.A. is aware of the unlucky hand you’ve been dealt, as evidenced by looks of apprehension and nervous lip biting.   

Nothing is more awful than being homesick the first few months of freshman year and not having a “family” vibe in your room to come back to, relax with, and vent to. Instead, you’re stuck with the awful and inevitable tension between you and your roommate, a type of relationship where you can’t playfully race to see who’ll get to the shower first and rather, passive aggressive glares are received if you forget to refill the Britta.    

My word of advice- if all else fails; choose Room Swap before she calls university police on you.    

(Just kidding…)   

But ultimately, remember that the end is near and random roommate assignments don’t last forever. More than likely, you will gain a better appreciation for your roommates in the future.