I'm sorry.

And I know that doesn't do a whole lot of good. But I'm saying it anyway because its true.

I'm sorry.

That there wasn't any chemistry for me. That I kept you along because I thought I would develop feelings for you. That I didn't tell you sooner that I wasn't physically attracted to you. That I didn't cut things off sooner than I did. That I only saw you as friend.

I'm NOT sorry.

That I spend the time that I did with you. That I spent close to six months with you, as a friend. That I got to know you, closer than I think most people have. That I got to experience part of my first year of college with you. That I considered you a friend. That I could tell you almost anything.

I'm sorry.

That you gave your heart to me, on multiple occasions. That you wanted to have a future with me. That you wanted to show me off to all of your friends and family. That you invited me to a special event to meet all your friends, only to have things fall apart that night. That you thought you could change my mind about you, and that you could make me want to be your girlfriend. That you really liked me. That you thought the feelings were mutual. That I could not reciprocate the feelings you had for me. That I could not develop feelings that were not there. That I tried so hard to make feelings develop that weren't there. That I made you think I was falling in love.

I'm NOT sorry.

That you showed me so much respect, more than any other guy ever has (besides my dad). That you made me laugh harder than most people can. That you brought me my favorite cookies when I was sick, because you remembered which kind I liked. That you showered me with compliments that I didn't ever know how to accept. That I bought you a cheesy valentine's gift. That I got to be on your arm for that special event, as your date. That I enjoyed the time we spent together.

However, I promise.

You made me feel so special, and sometimes, you made me feel like I was on cloud nine. I always had a wonderful time with you; didn't matter if we were at some fancy event or sitting on your couch watching Netflix. That I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to lead you on, in any way. I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted this to work, I wanted to be with you. I wanted to call you my boyfriend. I wanted to be your special girl, to be your special someone. I never meant to hurt you, if anything, I wanted to protect you from further harm. I didn't want to try anymore, it wasn't fair to you.

And I think you knew. You knew that something wasn't quite right.

I'm sorry.