I don’t date often, I don’t just meet guys out and no, I am not signed up on a dating site. In the past, most of my boyfriends or guys I’ve dated were friends first so I don’t have any experience in formal “dating” where you go out & meet new people. Instead, I am working, working out, writing articles, doing crafts and enjoying being alone & for some reason that isn’t enough for the people around me. While I keep my dating life private I never thought my sexuality would be questioned because I’m not sharing who I lay down with at night or who I share my dreams with. I mean, that is MY personal business right? NO, family and friends will try to dissect every inch of your life anyway possible, especially when you don’t crack and let them in on all the fun stuff.

I remember a few years back, my aunt asked me if I was seeing girls. I was totally confused because I never thought I gave off the vibe that I am interested in women, but her reason for asking was even more thrown off. She stated that a friend of hers asked her if I had been seeing anyone and she said no and then they suggested I may be gay. Yes, you read that correctly! Lucky for them, I cleared that up with a simple reply of something along the lines “If I feel someone is worthy and ready to meet the tribe, I will introduce you guys” because even being called gay won’t make me share my relationship interactions.

As the holidays roll around and everyone brings their significant other around, I am always left thinking of ways to avoid the unwanted questions about my spouse or those wondering when I will have a child. Below are some ways to avoid the “Holiday love child” grillers, if you suffer as well.

Bring someone.

This is probably the most successful thing you can do and it doesn’t have to be someone you’re seeing, it can just be a close friend. It can be a friend of the same or opposite sex, this just takes the attention off of your directly. Instead your family members will ask your friend all kinds of question and you will be able to inch away and enjoy the actual event.

Fake it 'til you make it.

I don’t think I would try this one but it's good for laughs. Make someone up, create the ideal or not so ideal guy and ruffle some feathers. Say he lives in another country and you guys are really committed to making the long distance relationship work. Then when the holidays rolls around again and they are looking for your boyfriend again, just say the two of you felt it was best you not date long distance. Understandable right, if your family is nosey, it may not work as they will ask a million more questions to determine the truth. Remember you can always keep it short and sweet to ensure they catch the hint that you don’t want to talk about it.

Tell the truth.

I know, I told you to lie before telling the truth but for some that may be a much needed option, but for those who don’t have it as hard just let them know your situation. You may be dating someone you’re not ready to bring home, simply state that. Let them know when the time is right you have no problem sharing your spouse with the family. If your single, let them know where you stand with relationships. For me, I am simply not looking to be in a with anyone right now, I want to become a personal trainer and will begin classes soon, along with working two jobs, I don't have much time to think about a relationship.

Tell the WHOLE truth.

I do not know about your family but events with mine can sometimes turn into a circus. I’m talking an actual circus with no animals; you will NEVER know what to expect you just know to be prepared. The saying “It’s not me, it’s you” works for them as well as sometimes they cannot see they are the problem. You may have wanted to introduce someone to your family but you may have held back due to being afraid of what someone will say or do. No matter how hard you try some situations are unavoidable on the holidays when the family gets together and sometimes you just want to save the embarrassment.

Pass on the invite.

Do something nice for yourself and enjoy it, send your family a Christmas card and tell them you’re thinking of them and will see them next year. If you would still like a family feel, maybe get together with some friends and throw a holiday gathering that way you won’t have to have uncomfortable conversations because your friends are already aware of most things. They will understand that right now, you just don’t want to be taunted with relationship questions, baby pressure and the need to feel like you have to be in a relationship because of the holidays. Good thing about this is your friends will understand as they generally go through similar things, especially if they are in a relationship, I can bet they are being hounded with marriage and kid questions, so you could save everyone from being scold by throwing a relaxed, non confrontational event.

They always say when in doubt, figure it out and with these suggestiong you can not go wrong. The key here is to find which situation works for you best, or maybe you don't mind and love talking about yourself all night. Either way, make the best of your holidays and be sure you are comfortable, the goal is to show up happy and leave more happy and well loved. Make the most of this Christmas.