For as long as I can remember I have cared about what others thought of me. It started out with just what my family thought, my mom, dad, siblings, and so on. Did I show my love for them enough? Was I embarrassing to them? Did I make them proud enough?
Well my over-caring is just part of my personality. I am a pleaser. I strive to make everyone around me happy and proud. Is this a bad thing? No. It's not a fault or a flaw, but it has over the years became stressful and overwhelming. My mental and even physical health at times as been affected by this. And it's taken me 20 years to figure out what I'm going to do about it.
I'm going to stop making decisions that sacrifice me just to make other's happy.
No one should have to plan their life around one person (parent, grandparent, sibling, S.O., friend). No one.Your life is in your hands. You make the decisions. Even when blindsided by tragedy and unforeseen circumstances, you decide how to deal with everything.
You decide to better yourself. Growth is something that begins internally and the only one that starts that is YOU.
Respect for others is important, don't get that wrong. Your decisions effect others, but they shouldn't be made for others. Especially if those choices leave yourself alone, scared, tired, stressed, anxious, worried, overworked, overstretched, or anything less than happy and successful.
Whether it's decisions to take an away job, a college scholarship, befriending a new person, dating someone new, wearing certain clothing, or choosing to steer your life in a new direction. That is your choice.
And full circle in this discussion. We have to stop expecting others to make decisions for us.
Yeah it's going to suck, because the world won't be able to revolve around you anymore. But can you imagine how much happier, mentally and emotionally healthier, and more free your friends and family are going to feel when they no longer feel pressured to please/impress you and make you happy??
The world is so much bigger than just us individually. I get that. And I believe that we each have to be conscious of the impacts of every decision we make. But I also see that every decision we make for the wrong reason is as harmful, if not more harmful, than choosing the wrong path.
I'm tired. Tired of making others happy to sacrifice my own self. I'm ready to make myself happy and if you are along for the ride then the more the merrier. But don't ask more than is possible of me, because I'm done giving it.