Because I'm a nice person and because I'll do just about anything in my power to make someone else happy, I get taken advantage of and walked all over a lot. I'm not so naive as to not realize it, I'm just too non-confrontational to do anything about it. I don't like fights and I don't like people being mad at me. I am almost always the first to apologize, even if I feel that I didn't do anything wrong.
If you lie to me, I'm probably not going to call you out on it, even if I'm quite sure that you aren't being honest. In my past relationships, I have allowed things that I wasn't completely okay with just to avoid the potential fight or break up that the problem warranted. I'll almost never speak up with opinions on where to go eat, for fear of everyone else feeling pressured into going somewhere that they don't want to go.
I won't burden you with my problems (unless you try really hard to make me) but I would love nothing more than to help you with yours. I'll forgive you even when you don't deserve it. You can infuriate me and I won't say a word to you because it's not worth it to me for anyone to get mad or upset. Sometimes I like these traits about myself- my life tends to be peaceful and drama-free and I find happiness in the happiness of others.
It also makes me pretty easy to get along with. I am almost always down to do whatever anyone else wants to do. I am very low maintenance and it doesn't take much to make me happy. If we are friends, all I require of you is that we have a mutual respect and that you make me laugh sometimes (laughing a lot is my #1 goal in life).
But occasionally I despise the way that I am too nice. Sometimes I wish that I could be mean, or at least tough. I wish that I was confident enough to do whatever I want without a care in the world. But unfortunately, I instead spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking through what I'm going to do before I do it because I like to be aware of how my actions affect other people.
Even though it comes naturally to me, it can be stressful worrying about other people all the time. Sometimes I forget to take care of my own happiness. I have to remind myself that it's okay to do something purely for myself every once in a while. And that other peoples' unhappiness isn't always something that I can (or should) solve. Most importantly, I struggle to constantly remind myself that it's okay to just say "no thanks" sometimes and move on with my life.
In my adult-ish age of 20 and especially in my singleness, I have come to really treasure this part of myself that finds happiness so simply. It doesn't require much of me to please someone else. And though it can be hurtful when people use my willingness and easy-going-ness against me, I know that often it is not purposeful or malicious. I have had time to reflect on the past and see the ways in which I was too nice and too forgiving, and the times that I should've spoken up and made my voice heard. Because I've been this way my whole life, I figure I always will be. So lucky for me, I have plenty more time to work on being kind without seeming too nice and being agreeable without seeming un-opinionated. Because trust me, I have plenty of opinions.
