I'm Not Popular And I'm OK With That

I'm Not Popular And I'm OK With That

The feeling of being unpopular in a society begging to be popular

You know those people? The ones who are the life of every room they enter? The ones who flaunt through life with their cute laugh and good looks? The ones who seem to have it all together? The ones everyone loves and would kill to be friends with?

The ones who have the newest and trendiest clothes and gadgets? The ones who have thousands of followers on the 'gram and get hundreds of comments on every one of their crazy perfect pictures?

The ones who have a hot boyfriend but still seem to get the attention of the guy you've been crushing on all semester in your math class? The ones who have a nice car and well... a nice everything? The ones who have the perfect body... and perfect teeth and hair and well... everything. The ones who are just well.... popular.

Please understand, I'm not degrading "popular," people in any way at all. Though, I believe, behind every perfectly popular person lies imperfections. As Hannah Montana sang...

Nobody's perfect

But If you're popular and you have it all together, then kudos to you! I mean that with all my heart. With popularity comes enormous influences and I pray you use those for the good of this rotten world.

All I'm saying is... I'm not popular and I have finally learned to be OKAY with that.

Why though? Why on earth would I become okay with not being everyone's first choice? Why would I be with okay with not having a face and body like a Kardashian? Why... just why would I refuse to gain a popular reputation?

Because I'm me. Heads don't turn when I enter a room. Some people think they are too good to talk to me. Everyone doesn't like me. I don't have the trendiest fashion. I'm a few generations behind on iPhones. My car is a '02 model. And yeah, I just hit 600 followers on my Instagram. My body isn't perfect and I definitely don't have abs (I like chocolate too much). I don't have the coolest or prettiest Instagram. And I'm a far cry from having my life put together, I'm just taking it day by day.

But here's the thing... I have some of the best friends and family. I might not get head turns, but people know they can count on me for a good laugh or a hug. I love my little ole car and it gets me where I need to go.

I have a working phone (even if the storage is full... Oh apple storage...). I love the clothes I wear. I love scrolling through my Instagram because it's full of people I love and feeds I enjoy. I workout and eat well (uhh mostly... chocolate wins) so I'm healthy and my not so perfect body serves me well. My boyfriend is pretty dang good looking. And I'm genuinely happy.

So you see, I'm just me. I'm not popular. I'm not perfect. And when oh when did that become such a bad thing? When did society begin morphing us into people who fight every day just to grasp someone's attention for a millisecond? When did society begin telling us to starve ourselves to drop a few pounds?

When did society begin defining us by our follower numbers? When did society teach us to filter a selfie so many times it doesn't look like us anymore? When did society make us so self-conscious and hate ourselves so much that we began cutting and harming our wonderfully made bodies? When did society turn us into robots, spending everyday fighting to be like someone we weren't born to be. When did we give society all of our power?

I used to wish I could be skinnier, richer, more popular, etc.. I would lie in bed at night and think about how I could become more like someone I knew who was popular. So I understand the place you may be in at this very moment. I understand the desires. I understand the self-hate. I understand the feeling of hopelessness because I would never be good enough to be popular. I understand reaching a goal I had, but still being so unhappy because I wanted more. I wanted to have it all. But what I didn't realize was, I already had it all.

I finally realized just how stupid it was to wish to be someone I wasn't.

I finally changed my mindset. I finally changed my beliefs. And I finally learned to be happy with the life I was so graciously given to live.

I now believe the purpose of this life is so much greater than popularity. I now believe a kind person will almost always exceed a rotten one with straight teeth and a 6 pack. I now believe a few good friendships are a million times better than thousands of followers.

I now believe money and good looks can't buy you everything or get you to the places you dream of being. I now believe a little hard work never hurt anyone and the rewards it brings is worth so much more. And finally, I now believe being yourself, the person you were so perfectly created to be is the most beautiful thing of all.

I finally choose to just be me. And I choose to love the person I've been created to be. I'm going to work hard and spread kindness like confetti. I'm going to love the people around me, regardless of whether they love me back. I'm going to give thanks for everything I have been given. And I pray you do the same. Because at the end of this life, I want to be remembered as a GOOD person. Not a popular one.

Cover Image Credit: pixabay

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22 New Things That I Want To Try Now That I'm 22

A bucket list for my 22nd year.


"I don't know about you but I'm feelin' 22," I have waited 6 long years to sing that and actually be 22! Now 22 doesn't seem like a big deal to people because you can't do anything that you couldn't do before and you're still super young. But I'm determined to make my 22nd year a year filled with new adventures and new experiences. So here's to 22.

1. Go sky diving.

What's crazier than jumping out of a plane? (Although I'll probably try indoor skydiving first.)

2. Go cliff jumping/diving.

I must be the only Rhode Islander who hasn't gone to Jamestown and jumped off a cliff.

3. Ride in a hor air balloon.

Up, up and away.

4. Try out skiing.

Cash me in the next Olympics, how bout dat.

5. Try out snow boarding.

Shawn White, I'm coming for you.

6. Go bungee jumping.

Because at least this time I'll be attached to something.

7. Go to Portugal.

I mean I'm Portuguese so I have to go at some point, right?

8. Go to Cape Verde.

Once again, I'm Cape Verdean so I have to go.

9. Vist one of the seven wonders of the world.

I mean hey, Egypt's on, my bucket list.

10. Try out surfing.

It's only natural that somebody from the Ocean State knows how to surf.

11. Learn a new langauge.

Because my little bit of Portuguese, Spanish and Latin isn't cutting it anymore.

12. Travel to a state that I've never been to before.

Fun fact: I've only been to 17 of the 50 states.

13. Go paddle boarding.

Pretty boring but I've never done it.

14. Go scuba diving.

I'm from the Ocean State so I guess I should see the ocean up close and personal.

15. Learn how to line dance.

There's actually a barn in my state that does line dancing, so this one will definitely get crossed off.

16. Go kayaking.

All this water around me and I haven't done a lot of the water activites.

17. Stay the night in a haunted hotel room.

I bet if I got my friends to come with me, it would be like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody episode, minus the ghost coming out of the wall but you never know.

18. Get my palms read.

Because who doesn't want to know their future.

19. Go to a medium.

Like a medium that can communicate with people that have died.

20. Take a helicopter ride.

Air plane: check Helicopter:....

21. Sleep under the stars.

Because sleeping in a tent is more like glamping than camping

22. Just to try new things in my everyday life.

Whether it's trying a new restaurant, getting something different at my usual restaurants, changing my usual style, going on the scary rides at amusement parks, and bringing things I used to do back into my life now.

Cover Image Credit:

Author's illustration

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Pride: A poem

Hell, I still love you.


The word love

Is a very complex one;

Often times thrown around

far more often than it should be.

I knew the true meaning of love when

I first laid my eyes upon you

You were perfect.

Perfect in ways you could not even yet conceptualize.

I gave you life;

But, you became my life.

Your first word.

Your first day at school.

Moments that made life worth living.

One day you said you felt different;

You didn't feel like everyone else;

You'd felt this way for years

But this feeling was not just a feeling;

It was who you were.

The masses played with video games and played rough sports—

You didn't;

You were delicate.

Far more delicate than other boys.

You may not have played with the same toys,

But, hell, I still love you.

It only seems like yesterday,

You told me you had gone astray

From the normal social stigma

But you are still my little boy,

And, hell, I still love you.


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