I'm Not Popular And I'm OK With That

I'm Not Popular And I'm OK With That

The feeling of being unpopular in a society begging to be popular

You know those people? The ones who are the life of every room they enter? The ones who flaunt through life with their cute laugh and good looks? The ones who seem to have it all together? The ones everyone loves and would kill to be friends with?

The ones who have the newest and trendiest clothes and gadgets? The ones who have thousands of followers on the 'gram and get hundreds of comments on every one of their crazy perfect pictures?

The ones who have a hot boyfriend but still seem to get the attention of the guy you've been crushing on all semester in your math class? The ones who have a nice car and well... a nice everything? The ones who have the perfect body... and perfect teeth and hair and well... everything. The ones who are just well.... popular.

Please understand, I'm not degrading "popular," people in any way at all. Though, I believe, behind every perfectly popular person lies imperfections. As Hannah Montana sang...

Nobody's perfect

But If you're popular and you have it all together, then kudos to you! I mean that with all my heart. With popularity comes enormous influences and I pray you use those for the good of this rotten world.

All I'm saying is... I'm not popular and I have finally learned to be OKAY with that.

Why though? Why on earth would I become okay with not being everyone's first choice? Why would I be with okay with not having a face and body like a Kardashian? Why... just why would I refuse to gain a popular reputation?

Because I'm me. Heads don't turn when I enter a room. Some people think they are too good to talk to me. Everyone doesn't like me. I don't have the trendiest fashion. I'm a few generations behind on iPhones. My car is a '02 model. And yeah, I just hit 600 followers on my Instagram. My body isn't perfect and I definitely don't have abs (I like chocolate too much). I don't have the coolest or prettiest Instagram. And I'm a far cry from having my life put together, I'm just taking it day by day.

But here's the thing... I have some of the best friends and family. I might not get head turns, but people know they can count on me for a good laugh or a hug. I love my little ole car and it gets me where I need to go.

I have a working phone (even if the storage is full... Oh apple storage...). I love the clothes I wear. I love scrolling through my Instagram because it's full of people I love and feeds I enjoy. I workout and eat well (uhh mostly... chocolate wins) so I'm healthy and my not so perfect body serves me well. My boyfriend is pretty dang good looking. And I'm genuinely happy.

So you see, I'm just me. I'm not popular. I'm not perfect. And when oh when did that become such a bad thing? When did society begin morphing us into people who fight every day just to grasp someone's attention for a millisecond? When did society begin telling us to starve ourselves to drop a few pounds?

When did society begin defining us by our follower numbers? When did society teach us to filter a selfie so many times it doesn't look like us anymore? When did society make us so self-conscious and hate ourselves so much that we began cutting and harming our wonderfully made bodies? When did society turn us into robots, spending everyday fighting to be like someone we weren't born to be. When did we give society all of our power?

I used to wish I could be skinnier, richer, more popular, etc.. I would lie in bed at night and think about how I could become more like someone I knew who was popular. So I understand the place you may be in at this very moment. I understand the desires. I understand the self-hate. I understand the feeling of hopelessness because I would never be good enough to be popular. I understand reaching a goal I had, but still being so unhappy because I wanted more. I wanted to have it all. But what I didn't realize was, I already had it all.

I finally realized just how stupid it was to wish to be someone I wasn't.

I finally changed my mindset. I finally changed my beliefs. And I finally learned to be happy with the life I was so graciously given to live.

I now believe the purpose of this life is so much greater than popularity. I now believe a kind person will almost always exceed a rotten one with straight teeth and a 6 pack. I now believe a few good friendships are a million times better than thousands of followers.

I now believe money and good looks can't buy you everything or get you to the places you dream of being. I now believe a little hard work never hurt anyone and the rewards it brings is worth so much more. And finally, I now believe being yourself, the person you were so perfectly created to be is the most beautiful thing of all.

I finally choose to just be me. And I choose to love the person I've been created to be. I'm going to work hard and spread kindness like confetti. I'm going to love the people around me, regardless of whether they love me back. I'm going to give thanks for everything I have been given. And I pray you do the same. Because at the end of this life, I want to be remembered as a GOOD person. Not a popular one.

Cover Image Credit: pixabay

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Success Is Great, But Failure Is Better

Fail and fail often.

Don’t let success get to your head, but don’t let failure get to your heart. Know that things don’t always work out as planned, and that is OK!

For many millennials, it’s easiest to just give up when something doesn’t go your way. But take heart. Success is great, but failure is better. The reality is, you’re going to fail... a lot.

Failure does not mean your idea was not good or that your dream isn’t valid.

Failure means you have more to learn.

Failure is GOOD.

It shows you that you did something wrong and that you need to take a redirection. It’s an opportunity to come back stronger with a better attack plan. It’s a second chance.

Having failed many times in my life, there’s one thing for sure: failing sucks. It sucks being disappointed. It sucks not succeeding on the first try. However, you can learn to become a good failure.

Failing is inevitable, which is why it is important to learn from our mistakes. You’ll learn more from a single failure than a lifetime of success. Here’s what you can do when you mess up: accept what you can’t change, keep an open mind, maintain a positive attitude, and know that nothing will be perfect.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was on an engineering team at my school. I was extremely confident in our abilities as a team, so when we didn’t advance to the world finals, I was devastated. The next year, however, my team placed second at the national competition, and we advanced to the world finals. If I had allowed that initial failure to consume me, I wouldn’t have been successful the next year.

It was not easy to advance to the world finals, but because I took my previous failure as a learning opportunity, my team succeeded. I knew I couldn’t change the past, so I didn’t focus on it. I kept an open mind about the competition and did not allow my bitterness to harden me, thus maintaining a positive attitude. My team wasn’t perfect, and I knew that. But I knew if we worked hard, we would succeed. We did.

Every failure is feedback on how to improve. Nothing works unless you do, and nothing works exactly the way you want it to. Failure is life’s greatest teacher; it’s nothing to be scared of. If we are so focused on not failing, we will never succeed.

So fail, and fail often.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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7 Things English Majors Go Through

Yes, I'm an English major. No, I'm not throwing away my education.

I love being an English major.

And no -- I'm not lying.

While I do advocate for womxn in tech and the rise of STEM majors, my heart belongs to the humanities and more importantly: English Literature.

Here are some of the things as an English Major that I have experienced:

1. So... Do you wanna be a teacher?

As an English Major, my sole purpose of getting my degree is not to just become a teacher. I also want to be a writer. Get it right. I also want to be a teacher, though, so...

2. Writer's Block

Writer's block = hell unleashed. My brain is my most valued. My heart, too, but my brain is what helps me actually write my essays and poems. When my brain isn't working, I'm not working, and with those two not working -- I'm not getting anything done.

3. Having Friends Ask You To Edit Their Papers

My mood 24/7 when people ask me to edit their papers. I'm working on my own, leave me alone. Seriously though, I know I'm an English major, but there's a reason why office hours were created -- but if you REALLY need my editing/revising, pay up.

4. Reading "Whatever" Literature

There are some great works that I love reading (Frankenstein, Great Expectations, Dr. J & Mr. H, etc). But if I'm forced to read another book that EVERYONE has "read" and ends with the classic patriarchal ending -- I'd rather not. Give me some more Mary Shelley, please.

5. Reading AMAZING Literature

OK BUT WHEN THE CLASS READS SOMETHING LIKE MRS. DALLOWAY -- I AM SO HAPPY (I love you, V.W). But, honestly, I love most literature (especially classics). It's only with very few works that I'm upset with reading. (50 Shades of Grey? Blegh.)

6. Getting Trash-Talked About Your Major

OkAy, SuSaN, I get that you're happy with being in the business school, but frankly I don't care, so don't worry about me or my major. We, English majors, get trash-talked about our majors. Back in the day, our major was considered noble and great -- and now it's considered as "throwing away our education".

7. Knowing that We Chose the Right Major

In my experience in college so far, I've met very few -- actually no one who has changed their major from English Lit/CRTWRT. (Disclaimer: I'm sure there are some?) But those of us who stayed with this major know that we chose the right path for ourselves. While our friends in STEM, Business, etc. are "having fun" with their path, we get to read our favorite works, write, and appreciate the arts. So... who's the real winner? ;)

Cover Image Credit: Study Breaks

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