Dearest friend, acquaintance, family member, barista, or other person I have encountered during Winter Break due to some miraculous happenstance,

I am writing to answer all of your questions that are in dire need of responses regarding my upcoming life as a graduate of a four-year institution of higher learning and as a member of the so-called "real world." I'd like to keep this quick because there are few things that I find less enjoyable than this very conversation.

Who am I texting? Right now? No one. (I know–us millennials are just always on our precious little devices!) I'm just scrolling through Instagram hoping my obvious disinterest in this conversation will direct you elsewhere.

Anyway, let's start off with the basics: I'll be graduating from Colgate University, a liberal arts college located smack-dab in the middle of Nowhere, NY. I am majoring in Spanish Language and Literature along with a minor in Linguistics. I'm doing fine in all of my classes. I'm doing more than fine. Okay, I know how much tuition is and I swear to the non-denominational deity of the holidays that I'm doing my best.

No, I'm not going to teach. To the surprise of many, I chose my field of study purely because I found it the most interesting and spiritually fulfilling. Through my liberal arts education, I've been able to study history, language, literature, art, psychology, neuroscience, geography, philosophy, mathematics, creative writing, film, LGBTQ studies, women's studies, religion, and so much more. I figured that acquiring a second language through my course of study would be an invaluable resource in our rapidly globalized society.

Also, studying Spanish surrealist art and literature at length does not qualify me in the slightest to be a competent educator. Do elementary language learners want to hear my quasi-sophisticated ramblings on Picasso's "Blue Period?" How about my attempts to intellectually unravel the films of Buñuel? People who are qualified to teach dedicate themselves to the study of education. I am not one of those people.

So what am I going to do with my degree? I'm going to put it in a frame and hang it somewhere nice because I worked damn hard for it.

My plans after graduation as of right now are pretty up in the air. I've always wanted to move out to the West Coast–I'm thinking Portland, or San Francisco, or Seattle. And I love coffee and beer, so I want to do something with that. I'm currently in the process of cold-emailing my résumé to breweries and coffee roasters out West to see if they think they could benefit from any aspect of my bilingual, event-planning, social-media-oriented skill set. But we'll see.

I've also always wanted to be a comedy writer, so I haven't completely given up hope on that. Maybe I'll move to the Big Apple and see what happens.

Finally, no I'm not seeing anyone. I don't know, I just have other priorities right now. I mean, sure there's like people I'm interested in but...Yes, I mean, I've met plenty of interesting people at school it's just...You know what? I think we're done here.

Until we meet again,

Julia