It seems like knowing that these are the last few days makes me more and more nostalgic about my everyday activities. Walking down campus roads and seeing the beautiful scenery that I fell in love with at first sight will soon be gone. All of the friends, sorority sisters, frat brothers, roommates, hall-mates, and the person you kind of know but are still unsure of their name will become absent over the next few months. All of the memories you had feeling the soft grass in the quad will fade away.
As I pack my stuff, I realize that everything I have carries a memory along with it. Even some of the things I brought from home have new memories. It’s hard to place them in bins and know that some of these memories will be gone in a matter of time. There will be no more times where we stay up late playing card games, or crying to our best friends about our crappy days. Instead we will find ourselves at home with the company of our old high school friends. While there is nothing wrong with that, it’s just hard to relate to your old friends in the same way after you have each been through many different adventures.
Some people are great at saying goodbye. They pack up their stuff and go. If you’re anything like me, you find yourself tripping over even the tiniest goodbyes. Goodbye, gross dorm bathrooms. Goodbye, bed I slept in this entire year. Goodbye, loud neighbors. Goodbye, slow elevators. Goodbyes all become difficult when you realize that these people or objects have all been a part of your normal life routine. Now that you are leaving, it’s hard to just let go.
One day I will look back on these days and wish for them back. I guess that’s what makes me a nostalgic person and what makes it so hard for me to say goodbye. They always say, “you don’t know what you’ve got 'til it’s gone.” So I guess I try my hardest to know what I have while I have it, especially in college; these are the best days of our lives. These are the moments we will tell our kids about one day. Oregon State University is the place I will proudly show my significant other, or my grandchildren. This is the place that I finally found myself. This is home.
I wish there was a stronger word for “miss.” It’s not that I will miss the smell of the flowers budding in the trees. It's not that I will miss my usual coffee dates with my friends. It’s not that I will miss the late nights we spent watching movies or playing video games. It’s not that I will miss spontaneous road trips to downtown. And It’s not that I will miss all the beautiful places I have the pleasure of seeing on a daily basis. It’s that I will have a hard time living without them, whether I am gone for a summer or gone for good.