“I am getting married in a few months,” I say this often when it comes into any conversation and I get the same shocked response every single time. The next question I hear is “How old are you” and when I respond with 21 I get an appalled response. Yes, I am pretty young, but no I am not too young to get married. I am not pregnant, nothing “weird” is happening in our families and I do know what I am getting myself into. I am here to angrily address a couple of things that I am personally getting tired of hearing.
“You should spend some time to get to know him better before you settle down.”
I have been with my fiancé for about 5 years. We have been through many milestones together and I am so happy to say that we will be through many more things together. We are high school sweethearts and I have been able to get to see him grow as an individual. This is something that not a lot of couples get to experience. I have been able to watch him go through many different phases and have seen the good and bad sides of him. We don’t have any awkward/embarrassing stories to hide from each other because we have lived through them together. After everything that we have been through together, and every side of each other that we have seen, we still want to be together forever and make our marriage work. He is my favorite person and there is nothing that you can do or say in order to make me change my mind. So no, I will not wait any longer to marry the man I love.
“You should date around a little more before you choose to settle down.”
I also often hear that I should “explore my options” before I marry him because I might find someone better. This angers me because no, I do not need to explore my options because I have already found someone who is everything that I could want. Sometimes when you find the right one there is just no turning back. I don’t need to be single in order to grow more as a person individually because I have already grown with him by my side. Getting married is not going to ruin our lives. Getting married doesn’t mean that you must be held to these unrealistic standards in order to keep each other married. In any and all relationships people grow. I will grow and change as I age and he will too. The best part about all of this is that we will be able to do it TOGETHER.
“You’re going to miss out on the best years of your life.”
Okay, NO. I am not going to give up the best years of my life. In fact, I am going to spend them with my best friend. I will still become an occupational therapist. I will still graduate college and I will probably make stupid mistakes as one does. In all of this crazy mess, I will have an amazing support system. I will be able to live side by side with my best friend doing amazing things. I am not missing out on anything, thank you.
*look of sorrow*
Although I can’t “hear” this, I am really irritated by the looks of pity I receive from individuals who talk to me. Looking at me as if I am throwing my youth away just because I am choosing to marry the love of my life is absolutely ridiculous. I am not doing anything wrong and I would appreciate it if you would worry about your life more than you are worrying about mine. People used to get married much younger than I will be and their marriages have lasted a very long time. So no, again getting married at 21 is not a big deal.
Getting married to the person that you love is an amazingly wonderful thing. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend growing and making new memories together. I honestly can’t wait to be married at 21 and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
