I know what you're thinking—you see the headline of this article, and you're wondering what kind of vapid, self-obsessed person makes a proclamation like this? Well, now that I've got your attention, I would love to state my piece.
Everyone has that one friend in their friend group. You know the one: kind of clingy, always saying something so she can get attention or affection from someone else. You know she's just digging for a compliment. Unfortunately, this girl gets the bad reputation. She's the one that everyone kind of shits on behind her back, no matter how nice of a person she is. In my opinion, this is the girl in your friend group you want to have around, for reasons that go beneath the surface.
I am this girl in my friend group. I admit, I need a lot of attention from my friends. And as of recently, I have been completely open and honest with them about when I'm feeling needy, or need some extra love. But I crave attention for different reasons, and some of the reasons people may not even think about.
I suffer from a lot of anxiety. I can wake up anxious, I can stay up all night because I'm anxious, I even get so anxious that I become physically ill. I can't eat, I can't drink, I can't do anything aside from think about the thoughts that are driving me crazy. But to be perfectly honest, that all changes when I get a little bit of attention from my friends. I'm constantly worried about what people are thinking about me; do my friends actually hate me, or do they really care? What are people saying about me behind my back? I've done absolutely nothing to this person, but they haven't answered my text in 10 minutes, so I'm sure they're angry at me for something. But when that text gets answered, when my roommates tell me they love me on their way out of the house, or when I hear someone drunkenly say, "me and so-and-so were JUST talking about how much we LOVE YOU so much FOR REAL", that anxiety dissipates. Someone could do so little as wave to me in passing on the way to class, but trust me, that makes all the difference in the world. It makes me feel less invisible in a world where people are doing anything to get noticed.
Another absolutely fabulous reason to keep this type of girl around in your friend group is because, well, they know exactly how it feels, and would never want anyone else to feel that way. I know personally that I would never want anyone I care about to go through the anxiety that I sometimes go through. Hell, I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy. So I make a conscious effort to try and make other people feel seen, to know someone cares for them, and that they do exist. So maybe the next time you want to roll your eyes about the girl that just needs a little bit more attention than you do, think to yourself just why she might be that way.
Yeah, sometimes I'm needy and hard to handle. But when you're feeling the exact same way, I'm not going to be there to push any judgment on you. And neither will the attention-whore of your own friend group. The harsh assumptions that come from being "that girl" in the group are hard to surpass, so why not start to change the stigma? Hard-to-love girls love the hardest, and you might be blessed to have someone like us in your life. Just kidding. But not. *Flips hair*.
