It's two hours until midnight, which will mark the 22nd year of gracing the world with my presence. As I sit here and try to contemplate what it truly means to age another year, or simply the fact that I will be 22 and the year is now 2017; I cannot prevent my mind from relating to this...
When in reality I feel like this...
So what, I will be 22? It shouldn't feel any different than 21, right? What is Taylor Swift even talking about when she says "It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight"? I just sit back and ask myself, isn't every night the perfect night for breakfast at midnight? (DUH, the answer is yes).
Or how about the dreaded question, "How does it feel to be 22?". Well, that's the thing, I haven't even thought about it until this very moment. I've considered the landmark ages such as 16, 18, and 21-- but what about 22? I mean, yeah, I get a horizontal license this year (as do most people who live in CT and got their license at 16). Yet, I can still do everything that I was able to accomplish at the age of 21. And cue the dramatic music to set the ambiance of wonder, deep thought and reflection...
In reality, 22 is just another age to mark being treated like a VIP for a solid 24 hours by those closest to you (shout out to the person who fueled my ego and bought me the birthday girl sash to wear out)! Yet, on these last two hours of being 21, I feel as though aging another year, regardless of the number, should be a time to reflect on the year prior and set goals for the future year. So here are just a few of mine to help get you thinking on your name day:
Reflection:
I look back and recognize that I am, by far, not the same person as I was when I turned 21. My hair is shorter, my nails are longer and painted, my aesthetic has even changed. I am not with the same man I was with back then, I am living on my own with some roommates in a new town, a new home, a new lifestyle. While I still have my OG squad, I have made new friends I can count on as well. I have lost people I thought would have been there forever and I have met people who have forever changed my perspective on life, regardless of if they physically stay in my life. I have always accepted school as a stationary, solidified element of my life-- and even that is in limbo right now, and I am okay with that. I am a new person this year (the old me is still in there, it helped shape me) and my wounds, my scars, my successes and my failures are what have molded the person I am today and I wear them proudly (as should you).
Future:
While I still am exploring this new side of myself, I vow not to lose what it was within myself that got me to this point. I will make it my goal to get back into the old things I love during my hiatus from school as well as try new things. I plan to travel, write about it, share my experiences with you and then do it all over again from a place different than the first. I plan to provide myself with an extra tidbit of slack this year, to do what it is that I want and I encourage you to do so as well. Most of all, I plan to accept that not everything NEEDS to happen right now, or even the way it was suppose to. Life is not a race to the finish, it's about enjoying the ride.
So, even though I may not agree with all of the motifs in T. Swift's song, I must admit-- I really am happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way right now. Whatever age it is that you may be turning this year, consider what I have said; take this time, if even for a moment, to consider the things you have gained and lost over the last 365 days and plan for better things for the future 365 days.
And don't forget to...
Sincerely,
-M
xoxo
