My friend asked me if I would want to join the group of other writers at my school to write for the Odyssey Online. Since then I've had a space to feel free to write what I wanted, or so I thought.
This blog started out as an outlet for me to let my creative juices flow and to write about things I was passionate about and events that have occurred in my life, as a way to help others.
A couple weeks ago, however, a series of unfortunate events occurred. One thing led to another and I eventually made some decisions that affected a string of people. Without going into a lot of detail, my writing hurt other people.
Now, a few weeks on the tail end of these events, I'm continuing to write my weekly blogs, and I'm at a loss for words.
I don't have a clue as to what I should write about.
I'm afraid that I will offend someone with what I say. I'm afraid of the backlash I will receive from what I say. I'm afraid of the judgment. I'm afraid of what people will say when they read what I have to say.
I don't want to be wrong, but if I'm writing my opinion and someone disagrees with that, that's their opinion. I want to be free to write what I want without fear of judgment. That's what my writing should be about. I don't want to be afraid.
So how can I move past that fear of judgment and into a place where I can be confident about what I want to write about?
It's so hard to let the opinions of other people not get to me. If I truly stand by my opinion and how I feel what I believe to be true, then I shouldn't let what people say about my opinion get to me. I stand by the things I say and I don't want that fear to hold me back from sharing experiences I've been through.
I'm afraid of mentioning a situation and people knowing that it's about them. I don't want people to be offended about a situation.
Part of me thinks I'm the problem and that I just perceive situations negatively, when they're not, or I only pull out the worst in a situation, and then it's only perceived as negative. It makes me feel like I can't write anything correctly without being corrected, even though my views are my views. My beliefs are my beliefs. It's not a matter of right and wrong.
I care what people say about me and my opinions. I always will. However, people's judgments about my writing will not get in the way of what I write or my thoughts on events. I think what I think and there's nothing wrong with that.
I no longer want to be afraid to write any more.