This is the first Christmas I will have without you here on earth with me.

It's the first Christmas I won't be able to think about what you're doing or how you're feeling on this very special day.

I will still be wishing we could be together, but this Christmas, that wish will take on a whole new meaning.

This Christmas, it's not that I couldn't make it to you, or that you couldn't make it to me, it's that you physically left this earth for a place much better than here, a place deserving of the word Heaven.

I'll have a blue Christmas without you, and it's true that I'll be so blue just thinking about you.

The whole day I'll be wishing to see that smile, longing to hear that laugh, waiting to feel that hug that I'll never receive again. I'll be wondering if you're watching over me, or if you're standing right next to me. I'll be wondering if you know that you're the only thing on my mind.

It's true that I'll have a blue Christmas without you, but I promise I'll try my best not to.

I know this is not what you would want. You know how much this holiday means to me. You know how happy it makes me. You know how much I love our family all gathering together for this one, amazing time of the year. You'd want me to enjoy it, not just for myself, but for you too, because you can no longer physically be there to enjoy it with us.

I know you will be there with us in spirit, and that fact alone is what will keep me moving forward. Christmas is not about the presents under the tree, it's about honoring those you love and care for, as well as celebrating the birth and life of our Lord.

Christmas should be about celebrating all of those who have impacted our lives in ways that the Lord would have wanted them to, and you're one of them. You're one of those people who served as an angel here on earth, and were taken away to serve in your rightful place up above. You're one of those people who put others before yourself, who always tried your hardest to spread smiles like wildfire, and who knew what it meant to not only be a good family member, but a good friend.

So I may have a blue Christmas without you, but I'll still be celebrating too.

I'll be celebrating the incredible life you led.

I'll be celebrating your triumphs, your failures, your victories and your losses.

I'll be celebrating the sprawling family tree so full of life that you helped to create.

Most of all, I'll be celebrating the person that you were and still are to me.

I'll have a blue Christmas without you, but I'll try my hardest not to, just like you would have done yourself.