No one wants to hear this, I know. Just keep going on living your daily life like your heart isn’t shattered? It seems impossible, right? I know the feeling all too well.
You don’t want to get out of bed because he didn’t wake up beside you. Your pillow is painted with mascara from the tears that consumed your bed last night.
The only time you feel remotely okay is when you attempt to drown out your heart with a bottle of wine. But even then, he isn’t out of your head.
You’ll decide it’s a good idea to text him, telling him that you still love him, despite the circumstances. He’ll reply with a cold message, letting you know you need to move on.
You find random pictures, scrapbooks, and letters from him and though you know you shouldn’t, you grasp those pictures tight, and hold them up to your heart. You open those letters and read them over and over again, falling to your knees in hysterics because you know these are the only things you have left of his love.
You will cry, everywhere. It will hit you. When ‘Electric Love’ by Borns begins to play in the grocery store, it will happen. You will be reminded of the summer you went camping together and played that song on repeat, while dancing with sparklers in your hands until 3am. You’ll quickly remember that is only a memory now and tears will flood your cheeks, and your body will start to cave in. You will start to feel your heart breaking all over again.
Once you surround yourself with friends, one of them will tell a funny story and you’ll remember something hilarious. You’ll start to share how you once bought him a pair of nerf guns when he was having a bad day, and how this led to the two of you running around like ninjas laughing until you were in tears. And then you will be in tears.
You will constantly hear the lines “But, why? You guys were so great together!” and “You guys were the power couple! What happened?” This is almost one of the worst parts of the heartbreak.
You will be sitting in this swanky coffee shop trying to hold yourself together while writing this article. Not working too well, is it? Que the tears again!
You will miss him, more than anything. Your world will feel like it’s crashing down. But you will pick yourself up. You will keep going. It’s just going to take time.
Each morning, you will get out of bed, you will go through the motions and you will be okay. No, it's not going to be easy but that's the point. Your heart won't heal overnight, but it will.
Keep going little fighter, things will get brighter.