If you're anything like me, you're just floating around in this life like a flower petal. You're not sure where you're going, where you're supposed to be, but you're still making the best of your life and enjoying every second of it.
I was sitting in my A&P class when I felt this uneasy chill cover my body like a blanket of snow. It was a feeling that I had felt before, but ignored it. “Why am I sitting here?” I asked myself. I mean, I wasn’t happy. I was doing this to make other people happy. Yes, I was sitting in a classroom, trying to pay attention to the lecture and take notes to make someone else happy. I was a pre-med major with the mindset that I wanted a PhD. Trust me, I wanted big things for my future: high degree, great job, nice house. I wanted to work for my success, like I had been doing for years already. But this did not feel right.
I hadn’t taken any kind of aptitude test; I hadn’t even explored the other majors and job opportunities in the world. I just put my parachute on and jumped right into this… It didn’t take me long to realize this was not where I belonged, and it didn’t take me failing classes. Trust me, I had excellent grades and attendance. I had prayed and prayed for God to show me a different way. I needed a sign. So, I took this uneasy feeling as the sign that I had been asking for. For whatever reason, I felt that I would be letting a lot of people down if I just got up and left the classroom. Though after that feeling I had, I wanted to. I felt as if there was something else I should had been doing. Sadly, I stayed in the classroom and continued to take notes. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to explore my options and just take it easy for a while.
The truth is, several people go into college with the mindset that they have all their life together. I envy those people. I figured I knew what I wanted, until I was put in that situation, and then my mind changed. I never seemed to force myself to speak up and just be honest with everyone. I didn’t want to let anyone down, including myself, but there was no way I could ever live with myself if I had gone to college, gotten a degree and begun working in the field that I didn’t even like.
It took me a whole year to decide what I wanted to go to college for.
From teaching, to nursing, to phlebotomy, to business. Then it hit me. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I needed to stop worrying about it. Whatever I am meant to be doing will be placed in my life when the time is right. For right now, I am still learning a lot about myself, learning a lot about life in general and also learning what I am good at.
The most important thing is to work on yourself, know who you are as a person, and don’t try to please anyone other than yourself.
