If you were to have asked me last year where I would be today, I probably would have said that I would have just finished my first year of college, I would be working my typical summer job and wishing the days would last longer so summer would last longer. But a year ago I didn't have a clue what would happen to me, who would leave my life, who would come into my life, and who I would be as a person.
I'll be honest, it's not easy to look back on past experiences and realize that you were wrong about so many things. However, a big part of life and growing as a person is reflecting on past experiences. When I've reflected on past experiences I've been able to reminisce on some of the greatest accomplishments and moments in my life and I've gotten to relive some of the most heart breaking, tear jerking moments in my life. I can confidently say today, though, that all of those tear jerking and heart breaking moments have helped shape me in to the strong and mostly confident person I am today (let's be honest...we all aren't confident 24/7, we all have insecurities).
Freshman year of college typically isn't a smooth sailing ride for most. You adjust to a new school, harder course work, unfamiliar faces that will soon be familiar and being away from family. Relationships (boyfriends, girlfriends, friendships) that you had in high school typically will crumble as the school year starts (unless you're some of the few ones that stay together) as you start to figure out who you are as a person. You grow away from the familiar and blossom into the person you want to be. As you grow in one direction, your significant other or your friends also grow and follow their own paths. The downside to the new experiences that make you grow is that you lose people that you held dear to your heart. The upside is that you learn and open new doors for yourself.
I can't tell you how many people I've lost in the past year. I've lost someone who I loved, I lost friends that I thought were life long friends, I've lost respect for people, I've lost my trust in most people, but it doesn't matter what I've lost because I've gained so much more. I've gained a new confidence in myself. I've met people and grown close to people that believe in me and want me to succeed just as much as I want myself to. When I lost love, I found a love greater than I could have ever imagined existed. Growing as a person and reflecting on every experience whether it was happy and exciting or heart breaking and tear jerking has made me the person I am today and I am so proud of who I am.
So a year ago today if I were to have thought about where I would be a year from now, I would have been completely wrong but that's okay. I'm thankful that I would have been wrong because where I am now is better than I could have ever imagined.
