I would ask you how you have been, but frankly, I don't care. This is going to be all about me for once.
It's been almost 8 years since you closed the door on our father-daughter relationship. For quite some time I blamed myself. What did I do to make him mad? Can a father truly just stop loving his child at the drop of a hat? Why wasn't I good enough for him? Should I apologize?
And I did just that. I tried to reach out to you. I tried to tell you that I was sorry, that I didn't mean those awful things I said, and that it would never happen again. All of my pleas were unanswered, however. I thought maybe you needed some space. Again, I was wrong. I have offered "Happy Birthdays" and "Happy Father's Days" over the years and no response. In fact, the only response I have ever gotten was when I asked about our family medical history because I was sick and the doctors couldn't figure out why.
I'm not sure when I decided to stop blaming myself and stop hoping for a response, but I am so glad that I did. Your blatant abandonment of your only child has taught me so much more than I thought was ever possible.
If you could see me now, you would see a woman with more strength than you could ever imagine. A woman that has faced hardship that she could have used her father's guidance to get through. A woman that learned to rely only on her mother, grandmother, and siblings because they were the only ones to truly stick around.
If you could see me now, you would see an educated woman. A woman that spent close to six years in college to get her degree. A woman that sees the beauty in children learning at a young age. A woman that perseveres through not having her own classroom, but knows that someday it will happen for her.
If you could see me now, you would see a woman that loves with everything she has. A woman that finally let her guard down and let someone love her the way she deserves to be loved. A woman that knows the man she chose will treat their future children like they are the most important people in his life.
If you could see me now, you would realize how badly you messed up. You would see that you could have been a part of my life and now I have no desire to have any contact with you. You would finally see that you no longer have a hold over me and that I am finally happy.
