If you could see depression you would see that their heart and hope slowly dies.
You would see the aching of their whole body but the emptiness of their soul, where they needed to feel the most.
Usually, their heart breaks repeatedly, until it can’t shatter anymore.
They don’t believe their existence matters to the world, or if they should be here.
They give up filling the lives of others when they feel so empty.
So, they stop being themselves because they don’t even know who they are anymore; maybe they know too much of who they are.
Who they were, hatred fills thinking about that thought. Who they are now, hatred fills once again.
You would see that they think others don’t truly love them, which makes it hard for them to love.
They don’t want to be this bitter or feel this pain.
You would see they think they deserve it, the ongoing hurt that they feel, seeming too hard to bare anymore…It almost feels like they are already dead surrounded by people who are living. You might see someone that struggles to love themselves in a sober form. Someone that instantly wants to go back to bed as soon as they get up. You would see the same question most people ask, “Why is life so hard to live when things are not that bad.” If you could see depression you would see someone begging to feel alive, they would be screaming for someone to tell them how to live again.
You would see constant nausea in their stomach, and a brain that never stops thinking.
They might not remember what you say because it’s hard to remember something with other thoughts always circulating. You may see someone that just lost someone special, you may see someone who went through something traumatic, maybe there is no reason or explanation why they feel this way.
It’s easy to get upset at someone that is depressed, it’s easy to tell them to get over it. They know they are hard to handle, and they don’t like the trouble that they cause.
If you really saw depression though, you would realize they are ill. Depression can kill, and every day they do feel as if they are dying.
I read once, “Depression is an ocean, a sea of emotions. You're drowning every day, however, you are never saved.”
Next time someone says they're depressed, try to see them, imagine that feeling of drowning in an ocean slowly, and no one coming to save you. Try to see the depression.
