The fourth season of "Orange is the New Black" is finally out, meaning there are 13 new episodes helping us learn why our favorite inmates are in jail. After four seasons you probably have a good idea of which inmate you are most like and which group you'd be in if you were in Litchfield. Or maybe you're normal and don't imagine yourself in prison. Either way, isn't the better question, which inmates would your friends be?
The Piper Chapmen
Every friend group has the group chat and every group chat has the Piper. It is that one friend who always asks for your advice but when you give it to them - and we're talking inspired, wow-I'm-wise, you're-so-lucky-to-have-me- advice- she decides to ignore it. Every. Single. Time. Just like Piper, this leaves that friend with lots of crying scenes.
The Red
Red is the mom of the group chat. She is the fiercely protective one. If they weren't locked up she would probably be the one answering your 3 a.m. texts to pick you up from the bar and cooking you a cure-all in the morning. But then again, she is also the kind of mom that would kill for you; Literally. If a boy screws you over, she's the one that is ready to kill him in an instant.
The Stella Carlin
This is the friend that disappears for conversations at a time. Sometimes you forget she is still in the group chat because she just doesn't talk in it but she does come back for the occasional supportive "yeah, for sure" or "I'm in."
The Sophia Burset
This is the friend that is ready for all of the gossip. This is the one who texts primarily in screenshots. She's the one to social media stalk the guy you just met five minutes ago and send you back screenshots of his Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, home address, and Myspace regardless of if it has been inactive since 2006.
The Taystee
This is the one friend who is both funniest and most unfiltered member of the group chat. She is probably the funniest person you know because she is going to say exactly what she is thinking at all times. If you're not sure which friend this is, hint; It's probably the one that texts in 95% curse words, all caps, bitmojis and gifs.
The Poussey Washington
This is the friend that is equally down to go out drinking tonight or stay in and order pizza. In the group chat she is the first to answer and tell you how to survive your latest meltdown because she is the giver of the advice that your Piper ignores.
The Alex Vause
This is your person. You love you're entire friend group but this is the one friend that you will text before the group chat just so she is the first to know the news. Yeah, you fight and maybe it gets ugly but you're like a married couple that will get over it in the end. She's your partner in crime and the one that you wouldn't be surprised to have sitting next to you in jail because she probably had some part in whatever dumb sh*t you did to get there.
