If The Characters From 'The Office' Were In Your Sorority

If The Characters From 'The Office' Were In Your Sorority

The only thing more exciting than Pretzel Day

Hands down 'The Office' is the funniest television show that I have ever seen. I’ve actually watched the series in its entirety about four times. After watching it over and over again, I’ve become kind of an expert on the show and feel as if I know the characters on a personal level. So personal in fact, that I actually thought about how each of the characters would fit into my life, more specifically my sorority life.


1. Kelly Kapoor

Kelly would be the sister that knows everything about everyone. Your boyfriend just broke up with you? Yeah, Kelly would know about it the week before it actually happened. Kaitlyn and Shannon aren’t talking to each other? Kelly would know when and why it happened probably before either one of them even knew what was going on. Although you would want to hate her, you would keep her around just so you could always be in the know.


2. Toby Flenderson

Toby would be that senior who's been in the sorority all four years of his college career. He would be the one constantly reminding everyone about how the sorority was run back when he first joined and how it was “so much better” than the way it is now. I can almost guarantee that he would hold the risk management position for his chapter. Although everyone would be secretly counting down the days until he graduates, the chapter would miss his mothering presence. He would be the sister to call if you needed someone responsible and sober to drive you home or to just help navigate you throughout college.


3. Meredith Palmer

Need moves? Meredith would be the sister to hit up if you wanted to know which fraternity was having a party or which nightclub was serving the best drinks. Her inappropriate (yet funny) remarks would help make chapter meetings not so boring and her confidence would help inspire others to become more comfortable in their own skin. Bonus: the Executive Board would be so focused on taming Meredith that you would be able to get away with practically anything.


4. Dwight K. Schrute

If Dwight joined a sorority, he would be a contributing reason as to why people think sororities are cults. He would be the member that spent his whole life dreaming about being in a sorority and when it came time for him to accept a bid, he’d let it go to his head. He would know absolutely everything there is to know (and probably more than any member would ever want to know) about his organization and often brag about it to others. All of Dwight’s belongings would somehow be affiliated with his sorority and he would never shut up about how much he loves being involved in Greek life.


5. Michael Scott

Michael Scott would be the ideal sorority girl! He would be the sister that joined for all the right reasons. His loving presence would help unite the sorority together and help strengthen the overall sisterhood. He would be the shoulder to lean on in tough times and the one holding your hair back after celebrating the good times.


Unfortunately, these characters aren’t real and if they were real, I don’t know if they would necessarily leave Dunder Mifflin to join a sorority. However, a girl can dream, can’t she?!

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The 5 People You WON'T Meet In Heaven: Hollywood Edition

Despite their significant influence, they will not be found in Heaven.

Some of you, or none of you, may be familiar with Mitch Albom’s best-seller, The Five People You Meet In Heaven. In the novel, the protagonist meets five people who profoundly influenced his life or vice versa, and he learns about the reasons for their or his own influence.

In 2017, and long before, the following high-profile Hollywood men were accused of sexual misconduct in ranging degrees.

Although these men differ in circumstances and their influence on the United States’ social climate, they all remain individuals who you should not expect to see in Heaven.

1. Bill Cosby

As of June 2017, CNN reported that over 50 women accused Bill Cosby of sexual misconduct. The allegations against Cosby began as early as 2000, but intensified in October 2014 when comedian Hannibal Buress’ routine went viral, where he alluded to Cosby's misdemeanors, and women began to speak out and identify themselves as those who he abused. The allegations included reports that he would “forcibly grab and kiss” women, and many alleged that they were raped by Cosby. The link between the women who came forward was their confirmation that he drugged them, and then for some that there were periods of time that they could not account for before waking up unclothed or disheveled. As the number of accusers reached the twenties, The Washington Post reported in December 2014 that colleges — including his alma mater, University of Massachusetts at Amherst — severed ties with Cosby. More recently, The New York Times reported that Cosby’s case was declared a mistrial on June 17, 2017, and it was published on Aug. 22, 2017 that the retrial would be postponed until March, five months later than originally planned.

2. Harvey Weinstein

As recently as Dec. 13, 2017, USA Today published an updated list of the 84 accusers who came forth with allegations against Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct. Weinstein denied the allegations leveled against him, which ranged from propositions for massages to rape, according to USA Today. The one silver-lining to be found following the explosive details published by The New York Times and The New Yorker in October 2017 is the #MeToo movement, which ignited many individuals to share their stories of sexual harassment or assault in the workplace. Nonetheless, Weinstein’s grossly inappropriate actions not only violated dozens of women, but also preyed upon many young women who were trying to enter the entertainment industry and were barely legal.

3. Kevin Spacey

Kevin Spacey made headlines when Buzzfeed News published an interview on Oct. 30, 2017, where actor Anthony Rapp alleged that Spacey “made a sexual advance towards him when Rapp was 14.” Rapp, who is now 46, claimed the advance occurred during a party at Spacey’s apartment in 1986, and that the older actor laid on top of him. BBC News also reported other men who came forward with allegations of harassment and assault that Spacey directed toward them. Additionally, CNN reported that the “House of Cards” set was a “toxic” environment due to Spacey’s inappropriate behavior aimed toward crew members who worked alongside Spacey on the series. Amidst the accusations and denouncements from other celebrities — and Netflix and the International Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, who refused to work on the final season of “House of Cards” if Spacey was involved and award him a special Emmy award, respectively — Spacey was also condemned for publicly recognizing in an official statement that he “choose[s] now to live as a gay man."

4. Woody Allen

Woody Allen is still a household name despite the allegations from his adopted daughter with Mia Farrow, Dylan Farrow, that he sexually abused her in 1992 when she was 7-years-old. As Farrow recounted decades ago, she was brought by Allen into the attic, and it was there that he allegedly laid his head on her lap with his face toward her body. Her claims were supported by adult witnesses on the day in question. Vanity Fair reported that on the day in question, one babysitter stated, “Allen and Dylan went missing for 15 or 20 minutes”, another claimed that Farrow was “staring vacantly in the direction of a television set” and a French tutor testified that Farrow was not wearing underpants under her sundress. More recently, Farrow decided to sit down with co-host Gayle King of “CBS This Morning” in a Jan. 18 interview that discussed the allegations. Separately, Allen is also married to Soon-Yi Previn, who he began an affair with while still in a relationship with Previn’s adoptive mother, Mia Farrow. Allen denied that he was in any way a father-figure toward Previn or any of Farrow’s adopted children, according to Salon.

5. Louis C.K.

Following the string of accusations toward men in Hollywood, Louis C.K. was accused by five women on Nov. 9, 2017 of sexual misconduct, according to The New York Times. The first pair of women, comedians Dana Min Goodman and Julia Wolov, recalled Louis C.K. inviting them to his hotel room for a nightcap after a show. He then removed his clothes and masturbated in front of them, after asking if he could take out his penis, which they initially thought was a joke. Other women came forward as well, one stating that during a phone conversation she could hear him masturbating, and another claiming that he asked her if he could masturbate in front of her, which she declined. Louis C.K. later released a statement that “These stories are true.”

Cover Image Credit: Entertainment Tonight

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Spiritual Warfare inside of her Poetic Spirit

"I feel like I'm drowning in my waste of impatience." Mrs. Powercouple

Continuing to type Mrs. Powercouple begins this quest using poetry. 

"I feel like I'm drowning in my waste of impatience. I'm taking the snakes fate for this fake reality I'm now faced with causing my destiny hatred. This snare is impairing my love and care, I ask him to leave and he disappears, then comes back clearing away all the paths paved to my heart. He tells me lies like Mr. P wouldn't waste his time loving a woman like I. Instead I should expect to be alone for the rest of my life. Day and night I await, while I sit alone and pace, faced with this intake of lies. My moods throw in a loop, I'm now confused with which feeling to choose from. If I'm too happy I'll lose it and end up bruised but then I get too hurt and gain enthusiasm from it's intake. Sometimes I misplace my loves steps with my mistakes. Mr. Powercouple deserves heaven but part of my spirit is still fighting with the gate keepers. The sneaky testers, testing my patience, gaining treasures from the pleasures of having a woman's attention. Their pain is my hex because I am blessed and cursed with compassion. If anyone happened to get hurt because of me I would lose my mind. I find myself climbing through this obstacle of time, but with each pull my arm gets cut from the incline. It's like the bars are knives, but with each reach I learn to be stronger. I guess that's where the savage in me is created, because although I am a slave to my sin, I also know there is hope for me to be saved. Especially when I'm caved in, suffocating from the ashes of the graved men. I know my blood shed is my shield so I refuse to die in-vain when it's my time to go."

An older man's breath from behind her hums the expression, "Pst" forcing Mrs. P to turn around. "I'm sorry ma'am but your name wasn't on the sign in sheet and there is a line waiting to use the computers." Blinking her eyes back to reality, Mrs. P apologizes and saves her work. Leaving the library, she looks back in gratitude then continues on her way. 

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