A common theme that I see in articles written on the internet is people writing to their future daughters. These articles are great and empowering explaining how they hope their daughter lives in a world different than the one we do. How they will teach their daughter to be independent, strong and unafraid. All great things and all of what I hope for my future daughter too, should I have one. However, I often feel that people neglect to think about what it will be like if they should have a son... but I haven't.
If I should have a son I want to teach him that it is okay to show emotions.There is this stigma in society today that if boys or men show emotions then they are weak. Well if I should have a son, that is exactly what I will be raising, a son. I will not be raising a robot and have no intention of raising my son to act like one. If you are sad, it is okay to cry, if you are angry there are ways to show it other than the way society makes you believe. I would rather have my son perceived as weak if it means he has a warm heart than have him perceived as "a man" by keeping everything inside for the sake of not being teased.
If I should have a son I will teach him to respect women. A common trend in "If I should Have a Daughter" articles is how they hope for a world where women do not have to fear walking anywhere alone. Well, that all starts with how we raise our sons. If I should have a son I will teach him that women are not his property to own. A woman is a prize to be won, not something to be rightfully claimed. A woman is his equal and he better treat her as such. If I should have a son, he will not disregard a girl's feelings for the sake of looking cool among his friends. He will be raised to know that a woman is just as strong, smart, caring and most importantly equal to him. If he should see anyone treating women not as this, he will be raised to step in and stop it. He will know that the saying "boys will be boys" is archaic and false. He will know that he will be held accountable for any actions he chooses to make, regardless of his sex.
If I should have a son he will know that it is okay to be whoever he is. If my son is gay, straight, bisexual, trans, or any sexuality he feels he is, he will be taught to own it and will be more than accepted for it. I cannot believe that in this day and age, people are still disowning their children because they did not end up being a carbon copy of what society thinks they should be. My son will be raised to know he is loved and accepted for whatever he feels his gender identity and sexuality is. He will also be raised to accept those who may be different than him. He will show love and acceptance for all men no matter what part of their identity make them unique.
If I should have a son he will be taught that he can grow up to be whatever he wants to be. If my son wants to be a doctor, then so be it. However, if that same son decides he wants to be a dancer then that is okay too. There is no such thing as a boy career or girl career, a good career or bad career. Whatever my son decides he wants to do will be what he does. He will be encouraged to follow whatever path calls to him no matter what people say. This is something that everyone seems to preach but no one seems to practice.
Most importantly if I should have a son he will be taught to love and be loved in return. He will be taught to show compassion for others. He will know the difference between right and wrong and no matter what he is told, he will stick to that. He will look to break society stereotypes of men and he will know that that is okay. I hope that if I should have a son, the world is different by that time for him to grow up in. However, more importantly, if it is not, he will work to make sure it changes. If I should have a son, he will be raised by me, not society.
