If Relationships Were An Olympic Sport

If Relationships Were An Olympic Sport

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I’m pretty much obsessed with the Olympics. I love everything about it – the stories of perseverance, the hope of becoming a national champion and some kids hero, the grace of some events and the intensity of others, the camaraderie, the rivalries. I even love the fashion. The other night though as I was listening to a segment about the history of the games and how events had evolved and new games had replaced old ones, I thought it might be time for another round of modernization. My mind started spinning with potential additions: snow biking, rollerdancing and it dawned on me that if we treated relationships like an Olympic sport, we’d all be a lot better at it.

Think about it. We wouldn’t settle for anything less than a GOLD medal in our relationship. If we lost we would use the loss as inspiration to go out and play harder, not an excuse to take a break. We'd be encouraged by our fans (i.e our friends and family). We'd all have dating coaches. And we would work tirelessly to get the gold… never giving up, never accepting “good enough”.

Just consider the hypothetical winning model:

Flirting would be the warm up. You'd do it every day. You'd flirt with your local barista, your office mail clerk, the bartender, etc. You'd make flirting a healthy habit so that when its game on, you'd land every wink, every smile, every laugh, every soft touch on the arm, every charming story and so on effortlessly like a triple axle that has been practiced a million times.

Dating would be the day-to-day training. Dating is where you fine-tune your skills. Where you learn about all of your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual wants and needs as an individual and as a member of a couple. Dating is where you get to screw it all up. It’s where you get to go BIG! It’s where you get to try anything you can dream of from dating an older guy to a younger guy to having a kinky threesome and everything in between… just like Olympic athletes try every jump, twirl and play to figure out what moves, speeds, routines and such work best for them. Dating is the trial run.

An exclusive relationship would be the qualifying event. Athletes go into lockdown before qualifiers and really concentrate on being their best. The qualifier takes extreme dedication, just like a relationship. This is where all that training is put to the test. Would you have what it takes? Would the chosen one qualify for the real game, (i. e. marriage)? On your list of must have characteristics, how would he score, even when the pressure is on? You could rank him from 1-10 with you as the Olympic judge – would he qualify to move on?

Winning the GOLD would be your ‘YES’ to marriage. Scoring the gold medal, like an ideal life co-pilot is beyond special. A bright, shiny gold medal is something to be proud of, something to admire, something worth working to get and something to be cherished forever. It is also attainable by anyone willing to try.

Thanks to Lori Gottlieb’s book, Marry Him, there has been a lot of chatter about if you should settle for Mr. Good Enough. (If you have read MENu Dating, you know where I stand on being picky - Need a refresher? Read pages 168-169). Well if you are the type of girl who is happy with a bronze medal, by all means, settle. But when you wake up next to that bronze medal every morning, chances are that you’ll wonder what might have happened, what love might have come your way, if you warmed up a little more, trained a little harder… and believed enough in yourself to go for the GOLD.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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We Spend So Much Time Talking About How Much Men Suck In 2019, That We Forget Girls Are Just As Bad

I always talk about how awful guys can be, but let's take a second to talk about how awful my own sex can be, too.

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In our culture, we tend to place all the blame on guys in most relationships by saying how "all men suck" but what about girls?

Girls can be just as bad.

I'm constantly saying how bad guys can be but yet I never stop to analyze things I've done that weren't okay or things my fellow female friends have done that was awful.

I'm not innocent either, I've done some terrible things to really nice guys in my life.

There was one man in my life that genuinely cared for me and wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same at all and lead him on. I honestly didn't think I was leading him on at first but the minute I realized it I tried to nicely let him down. To this day I feel awful about it because I hurt him the way many other guys in my life have hurt me.

I tend to defend my own gender a lot in conversations and I now understand that I really shouldn't. I've seen so many of my female friends treat great guys terribly and have ignored it for so long because I want to believe that females can't be that awful. I was wrong.

I've had some of my best guy friends get treated like absolute garbage by girls that wanted to just party and partake in the hookup culture rather than be with a great guy. I don't get it.

If you have a great man that you're attracted to and loves you unconditionally why would you want to throw it away to chase after boys that won't remember your name the next day?

I've had to keep secrets for friends before that ate me up inside. I had a friend who cheated on her boyfriend by kissing another man in front of me and kept it quiet.

It is NEVER okay to do that to someone, especially a guy that truly cares about you.

It is NOT OK to be on dating apps while dating someone. If you are dating someone, you're exclusive. There is no need to continue talking to men that obviously don't want to just be your friend. There is no good excuse and if you have to try and justify it to yourself, then it's probably not a good idea.

I honestly made myself believe that females didn't play the games men play with our hearts, but we can be just as bad if not worse than a lot of men.

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