Ever look at a man and think "I wonder what kind of drink he would be"? Yea, me neither. But now you're curious. Men are unique creatures and if you never realized, have an uncanny resemblance to some alcoholic drinks. Some are super bitter, some are super sweet. Either way, every man is a bit different, just like every drink is a bit different. Without further ado, here are ten drinks that will have you picturing a man that relates all too well.
Disclaimer: All of this is lighthearted. Take nothing seriously.
Manhattan
The classic man. He puts on this big persona that he is strong, bitter, and a badass. But, you're no rookie. You know how to bring out that underlying sweetness in him. He has it, it just isn't his front. This is your old school, classic man.
Long Island Ice Tea
Quite simply, this man is a hot mess. He really just throws things together and hopes for the best. He really has no idea what he is a doing, but he puts on a good front by masking himself as a classic. Surprisingly, it usually doesn't turn out awful... You definitely have seen better though.
Mimosa
Tiny pee-pee. But a sweetheart.
(Honestly, why do they make mimosas so tiny? And the amount of actual alcohol is so slim. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE them, but #Iwantabiggermimosa)
Dirty Banana
Do we really need to explain this one? This man loves to move and grove under the sheets. All. The. Time. He's always making dirty jokes but can be super sweet the next second. He's just as bad as our LIIT friend. But, he sure is gorgeous to look at.
Martini
This is a basic man. He really doesn't need much to be perfect (at least in his mind). This man is the strongest of all the other men (or, again, at least in his mind). He's a gym junkie and has a great smile. When not at the gym, he's showing off his new kicks or suit. But don't put it by him to become instantly dirty, leaving you more than happy in bed.
Cabernet
GiphyThis man is made of money. He probably has a horse somewhere. He wears a suit to the park and probably has a butler. He is dry, no humor to this man at all. But, he somehow has you feeling like the luckiest gal in the world.
Margarita
This man has no idea what responsibilities are. His only concern is to party. He's always finding an excuse to celebrate and drink. For some reason, he always seems to have money? Not like our Cabernet friend. This man doesn't live in a mansion or wears suits for every occasion. He just doesn't worry about money, I suppose. He is clean and strong, but god damn, how does one man drink so damn much? He is a people person too. Literally, no one can complain about a margarita man.
Mojito
GiphyThis man has a "fresh mouth" has your mother would call it. Even in the worse situation, he has a reason to say something fresh. His middle name is practically a swear word.
Sangria
This is the guy you friend-zoned. He's the nice guy who is ever so sweet. But, you don't want to mess up the connection the two of you have. He just isn't your "I want to spend every drinking moment with you", but you'd definitely hit up him if the time is right.
White Claw
This man's closet consists of salmon color shorts and polos. He is your stereotypical frat boy who thinks he's a hotshot but is really just bubbly water. Every college woman falls for this man, brags about this man, but he isn't all that he's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, he's pretty good and great if you want to have a good time, but in the end, he's an always drunk, pretty basic, kind of dude.
