If I could go back and tell my younger self any advice, I wouldn't. I would look at my younger self and say "You made me proud." Why? Because I made mistakes and some I made over and over again. But I learned from them. Your mistakes do not define you as a person; what defines you is how you bounce back from adversity.
I learned not to trust someone who repeatedly stabs you in the back. I learned to walk away from negative friendships or relationships. I learned that it's okay that you can't fix every broken person you come across. It's not that some people don't want to be fixed, it could be that they fear change or they aren't ready. And that's okay, maybe one day they will figure it out. I've learned that you can't put all of your focus and energy in someone that will not do the same for you. Sometimes people choose temporary friends over those who would give them the world. It hurts like hell, but it hurts more to be thrown around like a rag doll feeling lost and confused than nothing at all.
You lost some friends throughout the way but I'm happy you don't regret the amazing moments and times you had with them. They were put into your life for a reason and if it was just to make it through a short chapter, then so be it. But most importantly you gained the most wonderful friends along the way. It doesn't matter if you don't see them or talk to them every day, what matters is that you pick up exactly where you left off. That's what makes your friendship so strong and special. Yes, you may have been broken, bruised, and stumbled astray but you never fully lost track or sight of your goals. You learned from it all and you continued to learn every day.
So to my younger self,
I'm proud of you for loving unconditionally even though you've had your heart destroyed by your relationships and friendships. I'm proud of you for getting out of bed every day and making memories with those around you, even though you could have slept forever. I'm proud of you for never giving up on your dream of playing college softball. I'm proud of you for finding your passion. I'm happy you never gave up on me.
I don't regret anything you've done except for your hideous hair colors, hair cuts, or side bangs that looked like a combination of Justin Bieber and Billy Ray Cyrus. It's okay, though, the damage was done and I took care of that hair situation. But overall, I love the memories and the moments you have created for me to take into the next chapters of my life.
We still have a lot to learn and a lot to experience with our unconditional love for cats and weird hats.
But thank you for making me, well, me.
