I tried to do a poll on Instagram, to see the results and feedback I’d receive if I were to start writing for The Odyssey Online again. I wrote for The Odyssey Online during a time period in my life where writing was a crucial component for my healing. I healed and then I broke down again, which is why I am here again.

To begin, I realized a couple hours after I did the poll that I didn’t necessarily care what people’s opinions on whether or not I began writing again affected them. Simple, if I’m writing I do it for me, and if you take the time out of your day to read my article, and talk about it, then I must be doing something right if it encourages to talk about my work no matter if your feedback is negative or positive, it left an impression.

Anyway, I was on a come up last Spring, I had it altogether I was working on focusing on me, and focus on progressing and being satisfied with who I was as a human being. You’d think that once you were satisfied with yourself and who you are again after being lost for so long that you wouldn’t dwindle to that point in your life again. Let me break it to you, you do. And it’s just as bad, however, it hits you from a completely different direction. You don’t see it coming and it’s disappointing because you think you were better and you thought you grew, but again you fail to realize that you’re never going to stop growing or maturing. You go through experiences in life that change your perspective and you realize that you were going about things in a completely wrong way. You’ve been wrong but you’ve been so consumed in your own head you don’t look at how things are supposed to be, you look at them in the way you want to see them.

It’s like we have these glasses that only allow us to see things in one way, and one way only. And we’re so wrapped up that something should be and to us is that way, that we never give another pair of glasses the opportunity to be seen through in order to understand things instead of neglecting to acknowledge they’re there. We avoid what we don’t know, we avoid what we don’t want to know.

We avoid reality because it takes us away from this fantasy world we made up in our head that keeps us stuck to our values even though at times they’re not correct. It keeps us stuck to these outdated morals that we need to move on from because time’s have changed. Time’s keep changing, things that used to be a taboo are becoming more acceptable each decade and in order to accept these changes into our lives we have to open our minds and hearts to these changes because it not only impacts us but the people we love. It’s a universal thing.

Every minute we as a population become more intertwined with the rise of social media that we know everything about each other in the matter of seconds. We know life altering events in minutes. The world is changing every single hour, unfortunately, a lot of our mindsets are staying the same.

It’s been a struggle to keep a positive mindset when I’ve been under stress to change my eyes in order to perceive the world the way that specific person wants me to see things. I know that I have to alter my eyesight, but why take my eyes out in order to be accepted by yours. If you really loved me, you’d love my chestnut brown eyes, and wouldn’t try to change them to match yours. As much as I love yours, I love mine more.

I have a bad habit of being over giving, I have a bad habit of being overloving, I have a bad habit of over caring. Overall, I get walked all over because I try to prove the important people in my life who tell me people like me don’t exist anymore that I exist. I exist to help people, I exist to be there, I exist to love people and care for people. My mistake is that I mistake poison for sweetness, when people carry bad intentions for those who accept whatever they receive trying to attempt at being grateful. If only I learned my lesson the first and the second and the third time. I feel like if I did I’d turn bitter. I’ve never liked the taste of grapefruit, so I never would want to be metaphorically linked to that. I rather stay just as sweet, I feel like it suits me better. Even if I don’t get treated better, the Big Guy is watching, he sees what I’m doing that’s all that matters.