I Woke Up Like This. Flawed. | The Odyssey Online
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I Woke Up Like This. Flawed.

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15 signs you did the weekend right if...We all have had those Mondays where you're so tired that half way through your 8 o'clock you realize you've put your sports bra on backwards.  But then you can't help but smile through the uncomfortableness because the reason for your exhaustion is a great weekend.1) You wake up wanting a desalted ocean and a straw.2) As much as you want the water, you seem to be super glued to your bed.  3) Wait, no. You’re not actually in your bed. 4) You scramble for your phone hoping the thing that feels like a small cactus digging into your back is your crack free iPhone. 5) It’s not.  It’s a hair brush.  Which is ironic because your hair happens to look like an electrocuted shih tzu. 6) You decide your need of hydration outweighs the gravity holding you down so you confidently stand up.7) You were wrong.  Gravity wins.  You decide to lay face down on the ground while enjoying the free merry go round on speed ride you seem to be on.  It’s not so bad, the floor is cold against your cheek and hey you notice that top you spent money meant for parking tickets on is in the corner over there. 8) After some quality time bargaining with God about broken promises and questioning exactly how many Tequila shots you “cheers”ed to last night, you regain a semi clear line of vision and continue on your quest for nourishment. 9) However, not before you pass a reflective surface.  You then spend the next three minutes convincing yourself you actually looked decent the night before, the mascara was on your eyelashes not your chin, and there was actually an earring in both of your ears.  And there were pictures to prove it on your phone which you’re sure is...somewhere. 10) You easily turn away from the mirror and happen to notice two hand towels balled by the trash can, a roll of paper towels in the shower and an empty bag of caramel rice cakes which explains the Hansel and Gretel like trail of crumbs sprawled around the toilet.  11) You brush your teeth. 12) And finally, you get water. 13) As you’re claiming H2O as the eighth world wonder, you think it might be a good idea to check on your friends.  Friends the night after can come in all sorts of fun and surprising packages.  They have great outfits too like the classic backwards date party shirt and no pants.  Some even have accessories like a half empty bag of Tostitos on their face or perhaps red lipstick stains on their forehead.  14) You wake your fellow weekend warriors, hopefully not to loudly if you have a heart, and immediately set up a plan for foooooood.  Your biggest problem now is deciding which of the five Mexican restaurants to go to to inhale all of Mexico.  There will be the breeding ground for countless stories of how Ashley got that bruise on her shoulder and why Luke’s truck is no where to be found.    15) Now most important sign of a successful weekend, after picking and posting the social media approved pictures, you rally.  Sunday fun day is beckoning!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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