Unless you are going to MTV ‘s 2015 Spring Break, you are quite possibly in for the most overhyped week of Spring semester. Not that "drunk you" will know the difference though since you drained your bank account for alcohol this week. Whether you’re going home, to the beach, out of the country, or to Granny’s house, you will probably go through a version of this roller coaster of emotions:
The Week Before: I’m only eating kale chips and working out every day.
Lol <--- (this is you drowning in your lies). Post-chocolate binge. Pre-spring break “diet.” The struggle to put on a bathing suit is realer than real.
Packing.
~Sitting on suitcase while friend attempts to zip~ Is 3 bags too many?
Pretty much sums it up.
The Day Of: Anticipation is killing you.
You obviously can’t focus at school all day. Did you even go to school? Probably not. Such a good student you are.
The Car Ride.
Hillary Duff CD? Check. Hella snacks? Check. Gas? Maybe not...
Pulling Up.
Holy $**!@#$ f*@%@&^$*@*!!!!!$ Stampede into the house Lion King style (or Kim K).
Your Clothes Become the Carpet.
The second that suitcase comes unzipped it’s game over. This house stands no chance of escaping the wrath of your mess.
Bliss.
“Hey now. Hey now. This is what dreams are made of.”—A fitting recap of your Hilary Duff jam sesh on the way to your destination.
Meltdown.
Meltdowns are often triggered by a fight with your mom, friend, bae, or trashcan. Also by being evicted of your beach house.
(For those of you playing Sims over Spring Break... rock on)
You are most likely half-way through the week when this happens. Overtired, hungover, and sunburnt? Most likely.
Hey, you’re crazy is showing. Might wanna tuck that back in.
Beating the Hangover.
Just stay ahead of it and don’t stop drinking. Go team. Break on 3. Do I have drunk eyes yet? Sh*t.
Let Me Snap Story Everything.
~Soft Smiles~ Look everyone I’m drinking! Someone, usually your ex or annoyed friend, blocks you. Only temporarily though because who can resist your Snap Stories? Duck face is on fleek.
Mike Tyson’s Is That You?
You passed out on the floor? You deserve to wake up with sharpie whiskers on your face. Just don’t look in the mirror… But hey, you look great.
Just be happy you're not this guy.
Wardrobe Malfunction.
Who wants to go skinny dipping? If you don’t volunteer a wave will do the work for you. Pants around your ankles; top… to be determined. Yep. That. Just. Happened.
Literal Freakout.
Not figurative; you are literally flippin tables n’ shit. Cue Theresa Guidice. How’s jail by the way? Good talk.
I’m Sorry.
Make up with whoever you just flipped that table on. Forgive and forget, right?
Maybe not.
WTF: Where’s The Food.
Your food and drink has been on point this whole week, but now the pantry and wallet are both empty. No food coma to be found.
Last cheese puff… Rock-Paper-Scissors...or nah? Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Bad Girls Club here we come.
People Watching From Afar: Thoughts While Stalking Instagram.
OMG they went to Mexico? Why didn’t we go to Mexico? We should’ve gone to Mexico.
Sure they'll all be jealous, maybe they'll even try to get a nice tan at home. Nice try, "It looks so natural!" Team no filter!!!
911, What's Your Emergency?
Whether stumbling away from the cops at a party, getting a speeding ticket on the way to Granny's, or reviving your passed out drunk friend, you definitely enjoyed your time with the PoPo.
3rd Degree Sunburn.
~Cue the dancing lobsters~
Tanning oil was a great idea. I love my life.
Last Day.
~You collect as many seashells as possible~ Don't make me go back to school. PLEASE.
Jk, Get Me Out of Here.
Level of dysfunction has maxed out. One more stupid comment from someone may throw you over. G2g (Translation: “Got to Go” if you’re not into that 6th grade texting lingo).
How you feel about everyone:
Please go away.
The Ride Home.
Someone takes a Snapchat of you passed out in the back seat… It’s pretty vile. The car is silent (at this point you probably all hate each other). But then the last straw is drawn...
Bed.
I missed you. I swear I’ll never leave you again.
Better luck next year.
