I wake up everyday, and I think about the you I knew 6 months ago. That was the person I could call or run to. We were the ones that were attached at the hip and we did everything together. Now if I were to even just text you, you would probably ignore me.
I look back to the you that dropped their entire world to be there for me when mine completely fell apart. I see the you that cared for me so deeply and quite literally would do anything to see me smile again. I miss the you that would throw plates with me to relieve at least some anger, even if the relief only lasted a moment. I sometimes regret the you I got so close to and told my deepest secrets to.
You were the one that brought me through my reckless phase and taught me how to feel again, besides complete sadness. We both know I knew the feeling like the back of my hand. We were the ones that everyone said no one could never come between us because we were practically sisters. We both know now, they were wrong.
I tend to think about our conversations now, which are basically nonexistent. The way you talk to me is as if you're just laughing straight to my face. It's almost as if you're completely heartless, and forgot who we used to be. You forgot about a lot of things apparently, but I never thought you would forget about us. You always said I was your entire world, but you had a habit of putting other priorities before me. I don't intend to imply I didn't make mistakes as well. The difference between us? I learned from my mistakes and fixed them.
You have a habit of lying; putting on a mask so people won't see you're really hurting inside. I know you're depressed, you have been this entire time. The one thing I will always be grateful about you, is when you put your depression aside to help lift me up again. That is the one thing I will always respect you for.
You like to tell lies about me to our family; making false accusations. It's fine though, how could I possibly care when I know they all know the truth. We always used to say, "Family always.", and I'm glad I know who my family is. I think you tend to question your place; where you belong. In all honesty, it's hard to belong somewhere when you keep burning your bridges. I'll be honest though, you never burned your bridge with me, I just completely lost any and all trust I had for you. You and I know both know I could never hate anyone. After all, we are family. My family taught to always be there for each other, even when we don't get along.
I will always be here for you, but never in the way I was before. I will always listen, and I will always hope you find your place in life. After everything you've been through, you at least deserve that. You're a pretty fucked up person, but everyone in this family is a little fucked. I miss you and the person you used to be, but we will never be the same again.
