To The Sister I Had To Leave

Dear Little Sister, I Don't Know You Anymore

So now, I guess it's time for me to let you go.

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Younger sister,

I had a conversation with you, that didn't involve fighting, for the first time this past week. It completely caught me off guard and sent me to a place that I'm not sure I've come back from yet.

What do you do when you don't recognize the person you used to know?

I tried asking you questions and giving you the opportunity to be heard. I tried to listen to you, what you wanted to say and talk about. But all throughout, I was so uncomfortable because I didn't even recognize the person that I was talking to. I think this is when I realized that I had to let you go.

You've told me for the longest time that you don't want to talk to me. I've taken it into me heart and I've recognized that we all need our own time to digest situations and information. We are not the same. But I won't tell you that I don't miss you. Every single day that passes, my heart is overcome by how much I miss talking to you and at least having you in my life.

Nothing hurts more than realizing that without having someone in your life for almost an entire year and a half, your lives begin functioning completely without the other. There is no longer that desire to call, text, or write. It's like starting a friendship from the beginning, but with someone who knows all the parts of you.

You were my inspiration, my guide, my hope.

Everything I did, I did for you. I thought every single morning about how you were doing in school, what colleges you wanted to go to, or what you were doing for fun outside of school. There is still not a day that goes by that I don't think about you at least once. But in the end, it's only hurting me.

As I think more and more about what our relationship was like, I know that there was more than one occasion when I could've been a better sister. I was never perfect. But I never realized that I wasn't ever worthy of your love, care, or even time of day. I was never worthy of you.

I guess because I don't know you, I have to let you go now. I am stuck in the life I am stuck in, with the thought of who you used to be; who we used to be. But this is all a "me" thing now.

This is a goodbye to you.

You're going to accomplish amazing things in your life. I hope that you never forget what you mean to me and how much I tried to get to know you again. Keep it close to your heart how much I loved you. And remember it always.

Sincerely,

The sister you once knew and had

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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Note To Self: Stop Procrastinating Because It's Never Worth It

I always tell myself this is the last time and that next time I'll have it finished before the due date but it never happens!

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Let me tell you a little something about myself, I usually get what needs to get done, done. But the process behind it is way more hectic than it needs to be.

For example, during finals week I had two papers due, I was aware of it all quarter and told myself I would finish them early so I wouldn't be stressing the night before. Yet here I am, finishing my papers the morning of.

I don't know why this happens every time. I tell myself it's because I work better under pressure, but we all know that is just a lame excuse.

The thing is, when you leave things for last minute you can't enjoy anything. I might be procrastinating and watching Netflix but trust me that paper is always in the back of my head. Yeah, I'll go out with friends but I know I should be at home.

If you're anything like me you understand the struggle. But I am determined to do better. There were days when I actually felt productive and did things on time. It's just going to take some practice and discipline.

So if you're tired of procrastinating and want to do things differently, I'm here to tell you that I'm right there with you on that. We can do this.

Here are some tips on how you can be more productive by yours truly when my life was more put together, aka when we had just started the quarter.

Good luck ya'll, let's say goodbye to the procrastinating days together!

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