In a world full of Taylor Swift heartbreaks and Beyoncé bouncebacks, there are thousands of songs to describe what a breakup is like. Your boyfriend cheated? There's a song. He tore your heart into tiny shreds? There's a song for that. Heck, you broke his heart? There's a song for that, too. There are so many songs about hating your ex. This is the first song I've heard about amicable breakups. It's a breath of fresh air.
I don't understand why all breakup songs are about keying his car and hooking up with his best friend to get revenge. Of course, relationships crash and burn. Hearts break and feelings are hurt. However, not all relationships end with fire and brimstone. Not everyone parts ways with their lover while wishing the worst for them.
I don't hate my exes. I've loved them and I've lost them, and that is sometimes just how it goes. Two right people may just meet at the wrong time. Distance can get in the way, or other people can. Sometimes you're at different stages of life, and sometimes you aren't ready for a relationship with that person. As much as you want to love them and never let them go, sometimes you have to. Life or unforeseeable circumstances may force you apart.
Maybe you love a person with your whole heart, but it wasn't the right time.
Because you love them, you can't hate them. They are still in your heart, but you have to move on.
That's where Ariana Grande's "Thank U, Next" comes in.
Go ahead, listen to it.
Life changed? I thought so.
Look at the way she talks about her exes.
"Thought I'd end up with Sean / but he wasn't a match."
She harbors no resentment. She saw a future with him, but it just didn't work out. That is similar to most relationships. If you're dating but don't see a future with that person, why are you dating them?
"Wrote some songs about Ricky / now I listen and laugh."
We all look back on our pasts, and if you have the ability to laugh at it, savor it. You change, people change, circumstances change. In the third grade, I was dead set on being a veterinarian. Then I took AP Biology, and I laughed (and cried) at the thought of doing science for the rest of my life. I switched my career path and have never looked back. Sometimes you do that with people. Sometimes at the moment, you may see yourself with that person, but then you split and you realize that wasn't a good idea.
"Even almost got married / and for Pete, I'm so thankful."
This one hits close to home. Pete and Ariana's relationship was very fast and very public. The pair got engaged after less than a month of dating but then broke up before the wedding. Even through all the pain of the breakup, Ariana still had the heart to say she was grateful for him. Even though things didn't work out the way she planned, she was still thankful for what she learned in the relationship.
That line is the most relevant to girls who don't hate their exes. I don't hate mine; I still care for them. While the romance is long gone, I still pray for them, pray they are protected and blessed and happy. I hope they get everything they want in life, and I honestly wish them all the best. When you love someone, you never stop, even platonically. I don't regret being with them. We had some good times, and they were exactly what I needed at those points in my life. They taught me about love and humanity, and I also learned a lot about myself. I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful they were in my life.
I think the same thing is going through Ariana's head. She doesn't regret her relationship with Pete. They loved each other, and they learned. They're thankful for the chance to learn.
"Wish I could say thank you to Malcolm / cause he was an angel."
When Mac Miller died in September, Ariana was devastated. They had dated for two years, and he was her last boyfriend before Pete. She called him an angel. He was a drug addict. Obviously, she doesn't hate him, despite their breakup. There is proof you don't have to hate your ex. Even if they weren't the best person, you can still love them.
The chorus is where the love lies.
"One taught me love / one taught me patience / one taught me pain / now I'm so amazing / I've loved and I've lost / but that's not what I see / so look what I've got / look what you taught me / and for that I say / thank you, next."
Ariana's perspective on breakups changes the game. We can grow through our experiences, or we can shrivel. We can learn from our pain, or we can let the pain destroy us. Ariana acknowledged what her exes taught her, and then she moved on. I suggest we all do the same.
One of the quotes that helped me get through breakups was by Nikita Gill: "Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go." It allows us to feel the pain and learn from it. We can heal.
Why hurt others when you can heal? Why have a sore attitude when you can learn?
Why hate when you can love and learn?
