I didn't fail my test
Start writing a post
Adulting

I didn't fail my test

Atleast... not totally

20
I didn't fail my test

I promised myself that I would begin to be more open about my faith. I would show Gods love and speak about how holy His name is. As I began to do that, something wild happened. I can only describe it as a test of my faith and something I had not experienced. I always worried that when time came to test my faith, I would fail due to my anxiety or lack of Bible literacy. I can happily report that as you read this, I did not, but I'm still in shock.

I never expected my faith to be tested by other people who believed in the same God as me. I thought if we all believed God loved us and wanted the best, there could not be this much fighting, but I felt like I was fighting for my faith's life. I began reconnecting with someone I had known for years, and at their expense and mine, I will keep the details limited on our interactions to keep that person out of the spotlight. As we talked, I soon realized that we spoke of the same God and Jesus, but we did not believe in the same God and Jesus. They spoke to him to be crass and harsh, but I've always looked at God as a loving Father.


When I began these discussions, I felt like it was my duty to not only defend my faith, but also my God. One of my biggest character flaws and strengths is that I am a protector. What that means is if I see someone in need, I don't think twice about protecting them. This has gotten me in numerous situations, good and bad. This person began to not only talk about God in a way I did not appreciate but about other people. I could not help but feel as though I had to step in and defend. When I did this, it caused an unusual situation.

They began to tell me how you would have to beg and apologize to God for years to be enough. How who you were would never be enough. In plain terms, they were basically saying that some people were too messed up for God. I began to type to this person and cry because I knew how wrong they were. God loves all of us. He loves us when we hate Him and when we hate ourselves. As I argued with this person and defended what I knew was right, I grabbed my Bible in tears and began to pray.

My personal Bible was in my car. My mom works late and was using my car, so I grabbed my great grandmother's Bible. This Bible has her name on the front, a picture I keep in the back (I also have her pictures in my Bible) and a piece of her handwriting in Psalms. It reads:

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For his name's sake

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, the comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever."

- Psalm 23

I read this in tears because I knew what I was doing was right. I was sad because along with religious issues, this person struggles with some mental ones as well. I was sad because this was not only me fighting for my faith. I knew I would have break away from them because this reconnection was unhealthy. I wanted to help them, but I knew I could not. So, I am writing this because, I did it. I fought for my faith despite anxiety and lack of Bible literacy. I fought because I know my God and He is so good and loving. His grace is an ocean and overflowing. He loves us for who we are and just wants us to come home like a loving father.

You are enough. Who you are is enough. We are all broken and often approach God with those pieces begging for his help. You and your pieces are enough. So, pick them up, and lets do this together as a family of Christ.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

43223
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

27179
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

952133
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

143517
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments