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My Husband Takes My Breath Away

One woman’s married life with #Claustrophobia

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My Husband Takes My Breath Away
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You’re standing in an elevator with its shiny, sheet metal, lining the walls, reflecting images of you over and over again within its folds. The large, steel box then begins to get smaller and smaller. The walls start closing in on you. You realize you can’t breathe and your heart is pounding so hard in your chest, you grip it in the hopes that it won’t escape. That, my dear friends, is called Claustrophobia. This debilitating phobia is defined by Merriam-Webster as an “abnormal dread of being in closed or narrow spaces.” However, this crippling disorder encompasses so much more than just stepping inside of an elevator or a room without windows. Claustrophobia can also affect intimate relationships.

Before my husband and I started dating, I made sure to let him know that I had a disorder called Claustrophobia, which meant that I couldn’t relieve myself in a Porta Potty, be in cramped spaces with too many people, or book an interior room on a cruise. We can work around that, right? Wrong. This issue “is a phenomenon by which phobias either cause people to perceive the world differently than those without such fears or abnormal…,” as said by the APA. In this, they explain that a person’s boundary lines of personal space begin to expand and the further away from the line, the greater the phobia.

My line has extended to uncomfortable lengths.

The carrier of this psychological process can start seeing the signs that things are steadily getting worse. I love to travel with my family. We do lots of activities together, including snorkeling. On our latest trip to the Bahamas, I realized the hard way just how bad this fear has gotten. It got to the point that I couldn’t have the mask over my face, coupled with being underwater. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there. My husband would stand in front of me, his eyes burning with desire and love. He gets closer and closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, and I think to myself, “It just can’t get any better.” He finally swoops in for this pulse racing, reaches for the stars, kind of kiss he’s made sure you’ve been heavily anticipating… And then you push him away.

Yes, my husband has literally just taken my breath away.

U.S. News writer Anna Miller interviewed Reid Wilson, a professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, who said that this severe anxiety disorder is “marked mainly by fear – fear of suffocation and immobilization” on an article posted on the U.S. News website. Reid defines the lack of personal space I feel when my husband gets too close. The fear of not being able to breathe. A paralyzing dread that you are suffocating in your own space. There are others who suffer from the same thing and this, in turn, causes strife in their social lives and issues in their marriage.

Luckily, I’ve built trust and a solid foundation with my husband, who understands not to take my impulsive and instinctive actions personally. Whether it’s under the covers in the privacy of our bedroom or whisking me away on memory lane with a reminder of our youthful make-out sessions, I’m delightfully blessed he understands why I toss my head to one side sometimes or playfully shove him away. Other women and men as well, have experienced this particular behavior at one point or another. The Catch-22 of Claustrophobia is that this fear can get so severe that you begin to avoid that which has triggered it in the first place, which in turn increases the anxiety of going through it again.

I haven’t gained the courage of getting medical treatment (yet) for this anxiety disorder, but I have used several different self-help techniques to assist in moving me past the panic attack. Below, I have provided a list of techniques found on LifeScript that can help with those sporadic occurrences.

  • Learn meditation - Meditation trains your body and mind to relax. Even 10 to 15 minutes a day has been shown to have positive effects in reducing stress and anxiety.
  • Exercise - Doctors recommend 30 minutes per day, at least three times per week. In addition to boosting your immune system and improving cardiovascular health, exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, the “feel-good” hormone.
  • Practice deep breathing and muscle relaxation - Deep breathing triggers a relaxation response, causing positive physiological changes and reducing anxiety. Similarly, progressive muscle relaxation eases tension, thus decreasing your sensitivity to stress and anxiety triggers.
  • Watch your self-talk - Emotion follows thought. We are often unaware of the silent litany flowing through the mind as we go about our day. Make a practice of tuning in to your thoughts. Immediately correct unrealistic negative predictions, and counter unwarranted fears with rational facts.
  • Become less “stress-ready” - Repeated fear and stress experiences prime the body for the fight-or-flight response at the slightest provocation. In addition to learning relaxation techniques, you can take steps to lessen the strain on the nervous system. Reduce caffeine and sugar intake. Maintain a well-balanced diet. Be sure to get enough sleep. Spend time in situations that foster a sense of peace and contentment.

References and Resources

"Claustrophobia." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 11 Oct. 2017.

Williams, Dawn. “Learn To Overcome The Effects Of Claustrophobia.” LifeScript: Women's health, fashion & entertainment, LifeScript, 28 Feb. 2008, www.lifescript.com/well-being/articles/l/learn_to_overcome_the_effects_of_claustrophobia.aspx.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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