I know my husband is in love with someone else.
Before I go on I need to say a few things first, I love my husband so much. Before meeting him I never thought that my heart could hold this much love for another human being. I had never felt like I could feel so assured in sharing my deepest thoughts and emotions with someone. I could've never imagined what it felt like to be comfortable in being absolutely vulnerable and willing to risk tremendous heartache if that person ever betrayed my love, because I loved a person that much.
But I know my husband is in love with someone else.
When you are with someone for as much of the day as I am with my husband, you know when something is up or when the person is hiding something. Surprises are hardly ever possible with us. This person he is in love with though, is not someone he hides from me. He speaks of this person often and frequently with me, he actually tells me to get in touch and speak with them for advice and counsel on a regular basis.
The instant this person calls, he is up; on his feet and out the door. He will drive an hour, ride his bike for two hours, stand without fear in the face of danger and proclaim his love, he would even travel for a whole summer if it is what this person called him for.
The moment someone mentions this person's name, my husband gets fired up and all the wheels in his head start turning. He begins to recall every single encounter he has had with this person and profess his love again and again. It troubles him deeply whenever someone falsely claims to be speaking on this person's behalf twisting their words for a selfish gain.
You see, my husband yearns for a deeper closer relationship with his heavenly Father that I just do not compete with.
I know my husband is in love with God because of the way he serves others. He will spend hours upon hours with young adults and kids who are in rough circumstances, working whole-heartedly at a lower wage than what he could get working somewhere else, because he knows that God has him there for His purpose. Frustrated some days and in wonder of what the purpose may be, he still trusts that there is a reason that God has chosen him to stick with it and that the fruits of his labor will come and bring glory to his Father in Heaven.
The way my husband treats his family with boundless love and servitude is another way I see his love for God radiating. He adores his sisters, mother, grandparents, and nieces with a love that is unbreakable. My husband prays so mightily for their future and lives trusting that God will move and provide for all their needs.
He spends time in the word of God learning and growing every time. In the face of obstacles my husband is steady and firm that we need to act in faith that God will provide for all of our needs.
I know he is in love with God because of how he treats me. He respects me, has an enduring love for me despite my flaws and shortcomings, is quick to forgive, and never holds a grudge. As a girl, I dreamed about what my future marriage would look like, it was just like a fairytale: my "prince charming" would come home from work, walk through the door with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and we would dance the night away completely in love and without a worry in the world.
In reality that is not what happens. My husband is tired when he comes home from work and if you didn't know, flowers are EXPENSIVE. When you share a budget and are tight on money sometimes there is just no extra money for flowers that will, let's be honest, die in a week. There are other ways he gestures his love. He gives me his time: he will wake up before me (sometimes I work at 6 in the morning) make my coffee, egg, and toast. We say a quick prayer to start our day and then have breakfast together. He will do this for me when he himself had just gotten home from work close to midnight the night before. He knows the value of time and the importance of quality time spent together.
We will go out on dates and childishly flirt and giggle with each other as we share our favorite dessert making up stories of adventures we want to have and silly shenanigans that we could get ourselves into. He will hold my hand and kiss my cheek as we walk down the street so sweetly. He will wake up at four in the morning to watch a meteor shower with me because he knows that it is something special that I look forward to every year. I know my husband is in love with God because of how he loves me.
I am so blessed to say that my husband is in love with someone else and I am perfectly ok with it.
