Chicago native Larry McAllister knew this was coming when December 1st rolled around. That's the day that, every year since they'd been married, his wife Sarah goes out and comes back, hours later, with a delirious grin and a fistful of "Nutcracker" tickets. He accompanies her to opening night every year, despite numerous groans, sighs, and muttered complaints. Every single year he tries to put on a brave face and a publicly appropriate pair of pants, but every year his courage and willpower wane a bit more until this year. The year he finally snapped.
Larry had had enough. The second his wife got home, he tore up the tickets, spat on the idea of a girl with an enchanted nutcracker, and vowed not to budge from his recliner until February, when the holiday season was completely over and he was finally out of the woods. However, after further poking and prodding by his wife, Larry lost it and decided to stage a protest and enlist all the other mildly annoyed husbands who have been pressured into going and seeing a half-baked ballet while there's perfectly good football waiting to be watched.
Larry plans to march on Washington with 2,000 other husbands. He demands that Washington and The White House be made aware of this nationwide epidemic and put a stop to it. He stated in an interview that "If the government won't handle it, then who will?" Always a good attitude to adopt when dealing with such pressing issues.