It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

Always the friend, never the lover.
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Friends...where would be without friends? Who would we be without friends? Friends are like our brothers or sisters. You can tell them anything you desire or crave? You can tell them your deepest, most darkest secrets, that even your parents do not know about. Friends will always be there for you when you are in distraught, need assistance to change a tire or help you fight someone that you do not like.

Nowadays, kids call it, "my ride or dies." But despite all of these things, they will always see you as a friend. They do not recognize the laughs that you all share, the understanding of how you feel about a certain situation, nor the influence they have on you as a person. They are willing to bypass and suppress all of those emotions and heartfelt interactions, with a simple statement.

"I wouldn't date you Michael. You're too good of a friend."

Now where does me being too good of a friend, fizzle over to me not being a good boyfriend? I mean do these women not understand that I AM THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!!! But I digress!!!

Do I not have the physical prowess of what you look for in a man? Is it because you do not think I can please you sexually, because of your perceived notions about me being soft? Is it because we do not have intimate chemistry, when I know your very ins and outs??? Or is it because you do not think I can provide you security and stability when times get rough for you?

It hurts me that I'm good enough to be a friend, but not a boyfriend.

It is like I am not worthy to get the holy grail, (i.e. cuddling, sex and more sex.) Now given, you do have a boyfriend. But who is to say that will last. Who is to say that things will not workout.

And if you do not give me a chance, you will be just like every other naive girl who did not think, I was good enough to be their boyfriend or F*** Buddy, or anything like that.

But Michael Covington does not do friendzoning

And I am here to tell you that if you did not have a boyfriend, and I wanted you, and you rejected me, I would not desire to be your friend any longer. For me, there would be no point. I treat my relationships with women, like I treat my interviews: there is no point in keeping contact with you, if you did not give me the job.

Others may call this harsh, selfish and stubborn, but I call it protecting my heart. Protecting my heart from the potential physical image, of seeing you kiss, hug and smile at another guy....that is not better than me. You do not know how much that tears me up inside.

To see someone I should be with, deserve to be with, but does not have the flair that she wants to be with.

But you may be biting the dust just like every other girl

When he breaks your heart, I will not be there to pick up the pieces. I will not be there to be the shoulder to cry on. I will not be the one to tell you that things are going to be ok and that he is an idiot. Because you were the idiot for dating him. I told you, but you did not listen.

But after all this, you will eventually get over the heartbreak and tribulation, and get back on your feet. You may start to hate guys and become much more of an independent woman. Then you will be going to a local bar, just to grab some cocktails, with your girlfriends, just so you can chat and reminisce about that your trashy ex-boyfriend that never really gave a damn about you.

They will agree with you and you will nod, but you will never tell them about the guy that you should have been with. The guy that only wanted to see you happy, as long as you made him happy. The guy who wanted to give everything to you and all of him.

But you will not recognize that, and I will be the one still in distress and heartbreak about never being with you.

But will we still be friends??? I highly doubt it.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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Why My Ex And I Would Have Never Worked

A comprehensive explanation.

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For those of you who normal keep up with my life, or have read about my boyfriend and I, I just want to make it clear that I am not talking about him. Rather, I'm talking about my ex from a while ago. It wasn't a relationship that broke my heart and it wasn't something that I had around just for shits and giggles. The relationship was real and it started like any relationship that shouldn't be happening. It with a kiss in a car, a very sad looking car. That should have been my first indicator but I was in crush mode so what did I know? It was alright, the relationship was good-ish (second indicator- still in crush mode).

My ex (who will remain nameless) was a great person and always wanted to do things for me. Get me food when I might need it, Sheetz coffee when I wanted it and all the music suggestions I desired. And then I noticed the trends; I was short-tempered more often when I was around him, I was making excuses for him, I was going back to my old and bad eating habits, my self control was weakening, and I was getting more and more depressed. We shared all of those things in common and I realized that I was feeding myself off of his negativity and he fed off of mine. So I called for us to work on it. And for a time, we did. But things seemed to revert back to the negativity and the bad habits. My anger issues were bursting at the seems and I happened to be getting more and more frustrated with everything. The way coffee smelled irritated me and anyone who knows me knows I love coffee. Something was going terribly wrong.

The day I won't forget is when he happened to do something very wrong in a situation that I had to admit was out of line. And yet again, I was still making excuses and trying to make things better for him but I was out of ways to get him out of trouble and I had to give up trying to save him. Then a separate incident occurred and I couldn't get him out of trouble again. I had to be done trying to make it work when we were each others' problem. We had been feeding each other the same negativity that had been looping through us for the time we were together. We were never going to work because we were never going to change without motivation and example enough to do so.

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