It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

Always the friend, never the lover.
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Friends...where would be without friends? Who would we be without friends? Friends are like our brothers or sisters. You can tell them anything you desire or crave? You can tell them your deepest, most darkest secrets, that even your parents do not know about. Friends will always be there for you when you are in distraught, need assistance to change a tire or help you fight someone that you do not like.

Nowadays, kids call it, "my ride or dies." But despite all of these things, they will always see you as a friend. They do not recognize the laughs that you all share, the understanding of how you feel about a certain situation, nor the influence they have on you as a person. They are willing to bypass and suppress all of those emotions and heartfelt interactions, with a simple statement.

"I wouldn't date you Michael. You're too good of a friend."

Now where does me being too good of a friend, fizzle over to me not being a good boyfriend? I mean do these women not understand that I AM THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!!! But I digress!!!

Do I not have the physical prowess of what you look for in a man? Is it because you do not think I can please you sexually, because of your perceived notions about me being soft? Is it because we do not have intimate chemistry, when I know your very ins and outs??? Or is it because you do not think I can provide you security and stability when times get rough for you?

It hurts me that I'm good enough to be a friend, but not a boyfriend.

It is like I am not worthy to get the holy grail, (i.e. cuddling, sex and more sex.) Now given, you do have a boyfriend. But who is to say that will last. Who is to say that things will not workout.

And if you do not give me a chance, you will be just like every other naive girl who did not think, I was good enough to be their boyfriend or F*** Buddy, or anything like that.

But Michael Covington does not do friendzoning

And I am here to tell you that if you did not have a boyfriend, and I wanted you, and you rejected me, I would not desire to be your friend any longer. For me, there would be no point. I treat my relationships with women, like I treat my interviews: there is no point in keeping contact with you, if you did not give me the job.

Others may call this harsh, selfish and stubborn, but I call it protecting my heart. Protecting my heart from the potential physical image, of seeing you kiss, hug and smile at another guy....that is not better than me. You do not know how much that tears me up inside.

To see someone I should be with, deserve to be with, but does not have the flair that she wants to be with.

But you may be biting the dust just like every other girl

When he breaks your heart, I will not be there to pick up the pieces. I will not be there to be the shoulder to cry on. I will not be the one to tell you that things are going to be ok and that he is an idiot. Because you were the idiot for dating him. I told you, but you did not listen.

But after all this, you will eventually get over the heartbreak and tribulation, and get back on your feet. You may start to hate guys and become much more of an independent woman. Then you will be going to a local bar, just to grab some cocktails, with your girlfriends, just so you can chat and reminisce about that your trashy ex-boyfriend that never really gave a damn about you.

They will agree with you and you will nod, but you will never tell them about the guy that you should have been with. The guy that only wanted to see you happy, as long as you made him happy. The guy who wanted to give everything to you and all of him.

But you will not recognize that, and I will be the one still in distress and heartbreak about never being with you.

But will we still be friends??? I highly doubt it.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’m The Kind Of Person Who Is Happiest When I'm In A Relationship, There Is Nothing Wrong With That

Please stop acting like there is.

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There seems to be this odd notion that it's not alright to be the kind of person that prefers being in a relationship to being single. Usually, when I mention to people that I tend to be the happiest when I'm in a relationship, I get met with, "Well. you aren't ready for one yet until you are happiest by yourself" or "That isn't good, you'll always be dependent on someone for happiness then" or even, "Well, if you can't make yourself happy, then you can't make anyone else happy either."

Allow me to clarify a few things here.

First of all, just because I am happiest when I am in a relationship does not mean that I am not happy when I am not in one. I am still capable of being happy outside of a relationship, and I am capable of making myself happy. Generally, on a day to day basis, I'm pretty happy.

The thing is, I'm just in love with love. Even just knowing that there is someone out there that cares so deeply about you that they want to spend a part of their life with you is incredible. To me, there's just no better feeling in the world than having someone that you can share your life with. Sure, coming home from work, making myself my favorite meal and watching some Netflix in bed by myself afterward would be a great way to end a day and would make me happy.

It would make me immeasurably happier, however, to come home from work around the same time as the girl I'm dating does, share stories of how our respective days went while cooking a meal together, and ending the night cuddling in bed watching Netflix together until we fall asleep. Nearly anything I can do by myself that will make me happy can be enhanced by having someone I love with me to share it with.

To counter another point, I am not, nor will I ever be, dependent on someone else to be happy.

As I've mentioned, I'm completely capable of being happy by myself; I'm simply happier when I'm in a relationship. I also tend to be happier than I am normally when I am listening to music and writing. Nobody would ever say that I'm dependent on listening to music and writing or that I shouldn't write a single letter or listen to a single note again until I learn to be even happier without them than I am with them.

I get that some people just like being single and think it's enjoyable. They don't like being tied down or committed to any one person. They like being able to go out and do whatever they want without having to think about anyone at home worrying about them. They don't want to put in the work of having to worry about someone else. I'm not that kind of person. I'll never be that kind of person.

I love being tied down and fully committed to one person, knowing that they are committed to me, as well.

I love having someone that I know cares and worries about me, and that knows I care and worry about them, too. I simply adore being in a relationship, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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