It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

It Hurts Me That I'm Only Good Enough To Be A Friend But Not A Boyfriend

Always the friend, never the lover.
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Friends...where would be without friends? Who would we be without friends? Friends are like our brothers or sisters. You can tell them anything you desire or crave? You can tell them your deepest, most darkest secrets, that even your parents do not know about. Friends will always be there for you when you are in distraught, need assistance to change a tire or help you fight someone that you do not like.

Nowadays, kids call it, "my ride or dies." But despite all of these things, they will always see you as a friend. They do not recognize the laughs that you all share, the understanding of how you feel about a certain situation, nor the influence they have on you as a person. They are willing to bypass and suppress all of those emotions and heartfelt interactions, with a simple statement.

"I wouldn't date you Michael. You're too good of a friend."

Now where does me being too good of a friend, fizzle over to me not being a good boyfriend? I mean do these women not understand that I AM THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!!! But I digress!!!

Do I not have the physical prowess of what you look for in a man? Is it because you do not think I can please you sexually, because of your perceived notions about me being soft? Is it because we do not have intimate chemistry, when I know your very ins and outs??? Or is it because you do not think I can provide you security and stability when times get rough for you?

It hurts me that I'm good enough to be a friend, but not a boyfriend.

It is like I am not worthy to get the holy grail, (i.e. cuddling, sex and more sex.) Now given, you do have a boyfriend. But who is to say that will last. Who is to say that things will not workout.

And if you do not give me a chance, you will be just like every other naive girl who did not think, I was good enough to be their boyfriend or F*** Buddy, or anything like that.

But Michael Covington does not do friendzoning

And I am here to tell you that if you did not have a boyfriend, and I wanted you, and you rejected me, I would not desire to be your friend any longer. For me, there would be no point. I treat my relationships with women, like I treat my interviews: there is no point in keeping contact with you, if you did not give me the job.

Others may call this harsh, selfish and stubborn, but I call it protecting my heart. Protecting my heart from the potential physical image, of seeing you kiss, hug and smile at another guy....that is not better than me. You do not know how much that tears me up inside.

To see someone I should be with, deserve to be with, but does not have the flair that she wants to be with.

But you may be biting the dust just like every other girl

When he breaks your heart, I will not be there to pick up the pieces. I will not be there to be the shoulder to cry on. I will not be the one to tell you that things are going to be ok and that he is an idiot. Because you were the idiot for dating him. I told you, but you did not listen.

But after all this, you will eventually get over the heartbreak and tribulation, and get back on your feet. You may start to hate guys and become much more of an independent woman. Then you will be going to a local bar, just to grab some cocktails, with your girlfriends, just so you can chat and reminisce about that your trashy ex-boyfriend that never really gave a damn about you.

They will agree with you and you will nod, but you will never tell them about the guy that you should have been with. The guy that only wanted to see you happy, as long as you made him happy. The guy who wanted to give everything to you and all of him.

But you will not recognize that, and I will be the one still in distress and heartbreak about never being with you.

But will we still be friends??? I highly doubt it.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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The Importance Of Gaming

Oh God, he's talking about video games again.

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Video games for some are just that: games. But as I have continued to delve deeper into the communities that exist within the gaming world, I realize that video games are something much greater than an entertaining pastime.

The communities that are created through video games are so vast that an explanation of them cannot fit in a single article. These include communities centered around a medium of play, such as PC, PS4, Xbox, or Switch. Within the various types of consoles, the games themselves have communities that are hundreds of thousands of people large.

What is quickly obvious when one starts to play video games, not as a pastime but as a hobby, is that all games seek to resemble real life. In doing so, they create not only visuals that are realistic to life but also the communities which resemble actual groups in the world.

Some will say that video games are an addiction, that they are a waste of time and seek to distract youth and adults from actual real-life activities. For those of us who fail to accomplish real things like going to class or getting to work on time as a result of video games, I would have to agree. But generally, if one is productive in the real world, I see no reason as to why video games shouldn't be a big hobby.

They're fun, thought-provoking, and actually expansive of one's social skills.

Video games? Social? It seems as though the two do not correlate at all, but you would be surprised at how many friends one can make playing online games. First of all, to play video games with other players and talk to them is a difficult thing. One is literally talking to a username, there is no face-to-face interaction, and a lot of the meaning of one's words is lost in that.

So, in a way, social interaction is even harder over video games because you cannot use facial expressions or hand gestures, you have to simply use your words. This forces individuals who are otherwise antisocial to build their social skills

It is also interesting that, within the gaming community, there is a huge group of toxic people. These are individuals who make the game harder for their teammates, annoy them, and sometimes harass them for no apparent reason. These people, for lack of a better word, suck. No one likes them except other toxic people, and they are a plague within the gaming community.

But such is life, right? We are surrounded by people who suck every day from the small things to the large.

Video games are much more powerful than most people believe. They are not just a pastime; they are a serious community and even a sport, which some may argue. They have grown exponentially throughout the past four decades and show no sign of stopping. They influence a huge group of individuals and should be treated as seriously as any other hobby or pursuit one would seek.

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