1. "As Assistant Regional Manager, I--"

*Michael is heard from afar*

"Assistant to the Regional Manager."

"Right as I was saying, "As Assistant blah blah Regional Manager, I advise you to find cover. The safest place would be near a bunch of paper. If you don't have paper, I can sell you as much as you need with no shipping cost, and it will be delivered right to your door regardless of the storm. It could save your life. Not the delivery services life though. He'll probably die."

2. "You probably think the hurricane won't hit you. False. It will, and you will die."

3. "This is not a drill people."

4. Jim- "Everyone exit in an orderly fashion. We will not die in a paper company. We are not that pathetic."

"Yes, you are pathetic. You will die. Jim, you're so stupid. I will die here with honor and respect as the Assistant Regional Manager."

Everyone in unison says, "Assistant to the Regional Manager."

5. "Fire Guy started the hurricane. What was he trying to cook this time?" *insert awkward, creepy laugh here* "Water? Idiot."

6. "JIM!!! Stop putting my safety guide in jell-o. I can't save all your lives if I can't read my guide!"

"Dwight, we aren't even where the hurricane is hitting."

"You can never be too safe. This is 9/11 all over again."

"Dwight that was wildly offensive."

My eyes crinkled up in confusion, "What's offensive?"