I Hunger

I Hunger

I hunger for our fingers intertwined

I hunger, but not for food

I hunger for your lips on mine

Both pair chapped and slightly wet

Chaste kisses, but kisses nonetheless

I hunger for your hands running ever so gently through my hair

Occasionally getting caught in a tangle

Which sends a small rush of pain up the back of my neck

I hunger for those chocolate colored eyes gazing into mine

I hunger for your touch, no matter how small

The brush of our knees

Your fingertips making circles on my shoulders

Or the back of my neck

I hunger for our fingers intertwined

Holding hands is easier to do than kissing

Because we are not like others

It doesn't matter because we still do it

And we will continue to do it

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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To The 20-Year-Old Girl Dating A 45-Year-Old Man, From The Child Of An Age Gap Relationship

Please know what your getting into.

Recently, I've seen a few stories on the Odyssey discussing age gap in relationships.

They all seem to be written by girls who are dating men who are 20 years or more their senior. The articles talk about how love is love, the heart wants what it wants and that no one will change their mind about their relationship. I respect everyone's right to their opinion and their happiness. If you really think it works for you, then go for it. However, you should know what you are getting into completely before fully committing to this.

I am a child of parents with a large age gap. My dad is 23 years older than my mom. They got married when he was 50 and she was 26. My dad was 65 by the time I was born. I love my parents but here's why I think we should be wary of large age gap relationships

Disclaimer: my parents both know and understand my feelings on this. They know I wrote this article and that they are mentioned. I wouldn't trade or change them or their relationship. My parents have provided me with a wonderful life full of love, family, and happiness. Because of them, I've been given financial stability, a safe environment, an education and a huge, loving family. Things have worked out for our family, especially given the circumstances. However, that doesn't mean I would recommend a large age gap relationship. It may seem like nothing now, but the years between you and your significant other will catch up to you.

My dad is now 86 and struggling. He has trouble taking care of himself.

He needs help with almost everything. He can't be left alone for more than an hour or two. He has nurses come three times a week to help with his care. He needs someone present when my mom leaves the house to work part-time. His memory is fading, his health is declining and it seems that he slips out of lucidity more often these days.

My mom is now a full-time caregiver more than a wife.

She does an amazing job making sure my dad is content and taken care of. However, it is draining. She is still young enough to want to go out and do things. She wants to go on vacations and hang out friends. But most of the time, she is at home watching my dad. She is following her wedding vows to a tee but that doesn't mean it is easy. She struggles with guilt sometimes over the entire situation.

Then there is me. Because of my parents' age gap, I have been put in a difficult place.

I've had to watch my dad slip away physically and mentally for a good portion of my life. I try to help out but it is not always an easy thing to do. I will go watch TV with him so my mom can get out for an hour. Unfortunately, I usually end up calling her home because something arises that I can't handle alone. I have gone over to their house many times to help pick my dad up because he fell and refuses to let someone call the EMTs. I have changed college and life plans in order to stay close to home. I have known since I was little that my dad most likely won't be there for my wedding. He won't meet my children. I have struggled with my relationship with him due to the immense age gap. It is all I have ever known but it is something that still greatly affects me. I love my dad with everything I have, but that doesn't make the situation easier.

So my warning to you is this; be prepared for what is down the road.

Know that your age difference of 18 and 40 doesn't seem like anything now but it will at 60 and 82. It will be difficult for everyone involved. As a wife, you will slowly watch the man you loved slip away. Your kids will have to deal with struggles that no one else will understand. It is a lonely and painful situation. Before you make any drastic decisions, please understand what is coming.

If you decide that is what's right for you, then, by all means, go for it! but just understand the consequences of your choices.

Cover Image Credit: PX Here

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To The Girl Who Used Me As Her Side Dude

As you read this, I hope you feel absolutely guilty for the fact that you cheated on your boyfriend and with me.

Dear the girl who used me as her side piece,

For this letter to you, I am withholding your name. Please know it is not to protect you or is it out respect. It is because your name does not even remotely deserve to be anywhere near my content and trust me, we do not need any more terrible people that are famous in this world. But you know who you are, and you know what you did.

You and I met during my first semester at Towson University on the VERY infamous "dating" app called Tinder. My intentions were nothing serious; I was just looking to meet people at my new school and home. You and I matched and started talking at the very late hour of 2 a.m.

Your apartment in West Village was literally right down the street from mine and you asked me if wanted to come over to your place and sleepover. Since I thought you were cute and seemed pretty chill, I decided to take your offer. So I got dressed at 2:30 a.m., texted my roommate where I was going and I was going to be back the next day and walked over to Towson's campus to meet you.

You waited for me on the bridge that connects to the main campus and West Village. Not to be extremely cheesy, but the first thing I thought when I saw you in person was, "Wow, she is more beautiful in person." I kept that thought to myself because...well we literally JUST met and the fact that I was meeting you on Towson bridge at 3:00 a.m. was already pretty weird. We finally walked up to your place and we'll leave the rest to the reader's imagination.

The following morning, we woke up and decided to get coffee. Before we left, you decided to take off your makeup because you left it on that night. You walked out of your bathroom with it all off; I still thought you were beautiful. We probably spent an entire hour just talking at the cafe and something happened that I did not want to happen.

I started to like you.

Like I said, I didn't want to like you in that way; something just clicked and I think you felt the same way. I walked you back to your apartment, kissed you bye, and then I went home.

You and I would text quite a lot the next couple days; discussing what memes we like, where we came from, what we would love to do with our lives after college. Things between you and I seemed like they were going great. Then the weekend hit and all sudden, I did not hear anything from you.

I would text you good morning and would not hear from you. It was like you suddenly vanished. I took that as you not being interested anymore which was no stranger to me at this point in time. Monday came along and then you texted me saying "Hey!" ...um hey? "Sorry I went home over the weekend and hung out with friends!" I thought this was a little strange since you could've just texted me saying "Hey, I'm home this weekend with some friends. Won't be able to talk!" which I would've understood. I decided to not think of it since I was happy to hear from you.

We would continue to text, meet each other in between classes, and work on homework with each other. We got Chipotle on Halloween, wearing super stupid hand-me-down costumes. You just wore cat ears and I wore a Spiderman mask. I remember rolling up to your apartment wearing the Spiderman mask with the original 1960s Spiderman music BLARING out of my car and noticing the expression on your face that just said "Oh God, wtf..."

I was totally into you; I thought about you constantly. I decided to express these feelings to you while we were texting at 1:30 a.m. I finally just said "I really like you" and your response made me so happy. "I really like you, too."

We still decided to take it slow and easy. You and I both do not really like rushing into things. I deleted my Tinder for you that night.

However, with all the nice and cute college love story elements that took place between us, I started noticing some things that were kind of off and strange. Like that one weekend, you would ghost me during the weekends and even some weekdays. Then I started noticing that you would remove me on Snapchat during the weekends, and then re-add me.

I told my friend who lived in the apartment below me about all this and she looked at me and said "Well David, that usually means there is another guy in the picture."

That was a thought that popped up in my head quite often which I did not want to believe. I decided to ask you about it and you responded saying "I just get really stressed out from school and just need to disconnect from people."

I understood that and decided not to be judgmental about your reason. Later I learned how much of an idiot I was for believing that BS and not only that, this was only the cherry and chocolate sauce to this very strange and sketchy sundae. Then I noticed that you really did not want to hang out. You and I may have hung out on campus and did homework together, but we never hung outside of Towson.

You never wanted to come to my apartment or have me come to your apartment to watch a movie. I would ask if you wanted to go take a walk somewhere and you would just say "Nah. I'm too lazy to get out of bed." But then when we WOULD hang out outside of campus, it would usually involve me driving you to Chipotle or the market, chat in my car, and then drive you back to your apartment. A part of me was starting to think that you were using me.

I remember my roommate being very honest with me by saying, "I am really not liking this girl. She is playing with your heart and using you."

While I was mostly on your side, a part of me was starting to believe him.

Towards the end of the semester, I asked you if you wanted to get food together and you said you were broke. I offered to pay and you gave the usual answer of being too lazy get off your bed. I finally gave up on you. I had it. I decided to get myself Chipotle, have dinner, and then get into bed early since I had to work at 6:30 a.m. Then all of sudden you text me saying "Hey! It turns out I have a little bit of money! Want to get food?" I thought to myself "Are you kidding me?" I responded saying "I'm already in bed. Sorry." Then like a little kid you sent a text saying "Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssseeee."

Then I decided to cut the BS and respond with "I am not getting out of bed to drive you to Chipotle just so you can go right back up to your room." You gave the absolute snarky answer of "Well I'd figured we'd go hang out, but that's okay I'll make other plans." I ended the conversation with "Yeah. Go do that."

That was our last conversation.

The following day, I was on Instagram during my break from work and saw that you posted a selfie of you in a car, with some guy in the driver's seat. I thought to myself "Is that her brother? her friend?"

I would be lying if I did not feel my stomach turn into a knot. The next day, since it was the weekend, you must've forgotten to remove me from Snapchat because I saw a post on your story of that same guy playing video games with the caption saying "My Baby" with a heart eye emoji. I remember looking at that, my stomach turned into a tighter knot than before, and thinking to myself "This is why I shouldn't pursue relationships." I was completely destroyed.

So it turns out, you were dating this guy even during when you and I were seeing each other. Then everything started to make sense. You ghosting me and removing me on Snapchat during the weekends, you were hiding me from your boyfriend and I was your Towson side dude! I cannot believe I did not figure this out before! But maybe I did and did not want to believe it. So I have to ask, what made you think that was okay??

Were you just mad at your boyfriend that one night and decided you wanted to sleep with another dude to punish him? Were you two broken up, met me, got back together and not tell me? How many other guys have you done this to? Why in the world do you think this is okay to do this to your boyfriend? I actually feel bad for him because of what you did.

Let me tell you this, YOU ARE SO LUCKY I DELETED ALL OF OUR OLD TEXT MESSAGES because I would have screenshotted EVERY SINGLE ONE and sent them to him with a message saying "Hey man, sorry to bother you but your girlfriend cheated on you" because that is EXACTLY what you did! You cheated on him! You CHEATED on him with ME!

So right now you're probably wondering "Why did you take so much time to write this?"

Well as of right now, we are still friends on Facebook so I know you see what I post. As you see the headline to this letter, I hope you think to yourself "Wait...is this about me?"

Then I hope you get curious and click on it, read this, and figure out that it's about you.

The moral of this story? Do not screw over a guy who will eventually get a gig writing for Odyssey! If you do, there will be a very honest piece written directed to you and people will read it.

Cover Image Credit: Kim Oxford

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