Lately, I have been really down on myself. Life just hasn't worked out the way I have wanted it to. From school stress to financial stress to work stress to people stress, I've been incredibly overwhelmed. The Holiday season is my favorite time of year and I have spent it, so far, on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I've been so caught up in how my life should be. What grades I get. What shoes I wear. What clothes I can't afford. What my Instagram looks like. What other people think of me.

If this is what my life is all about, what a shallow life that would be. I may not have everything. But I have something much greater than shoes or Insta likes or A’s on my papers. I have people. Incredible people. People who love and support me no matter what. No matter how broken I am. I would just like to take a moment to thank these people. Because you guys are pretty amazing.

To my parents,

I don’t even know where to start. No matter how many times I want to give up on something that I’m passionate about you push me forward. You guys are my rock. Mom, you show me what true beauty and strength looks like in a person. Dad, you show me how to endure and to trust in God no matter what. Thank you for giving me the world without a second thought. Thank you both for putting up with my sassy high school self (I’m still a little sassy, so thanks for now too). Thank you for showing me the kind of parent I hope to be someday. Thank you for loving me and letting me love you back.

To my brother,

We’ve been through so much together. We’ve seen things kids probably shouldn’t. We’ve lost things. We’ve lost people. But through it all you’ve been there walking beside me. Don’t ever question how much you are loved and appreciated. The world is better with you here. Thank you for the endless adventures on our land growing up. Thank you for teaching me to love sports. Thank you for football Sundays. Thank you for letting me be that annoying little sister that tagged along with you and your friends (fishing, hunting, bowling, playing baseball, you name it you never complained). Thank you for encouraging me to pursue what i want in life. Thank you for reminding me it doesn’t matter what others think about me. Thank you for just being yourself.

To my chummy,

First, you deserve the world. At times it's going to tear you down, but you deserve the best, greatest, most amazing life. If anyone needs a thank you it would be you. We became friends at the peek of those awkward high school days and somehow you still put up with me. I have the privilege of calling you more than just a best friend. Those words don’t do you justice. So thank goodness we binge-watched all those YouTube videos in high school and found “chummy”. That’s just right. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing me what humility and beauty look like in one person. Thank you for being my Disney partner-in-crime. Thank you for the endless hockey memories. Thank you for understanding when I’m having a bad day. Thank you for threatening any guy that even thinks about doing me wrong. Thank you for sharing my love for coffee (your new found love) and cute coffee shops. Thank you for letting me cry and throw pity-parties. Thank you for also sharing my love for birthdays and the Holidays. Thank you for all of those late night pour-your-heart-out deep conversations. Thank you for being a part of some of my favorite memories. Thank you for not judging me. Thank you for loving me for me.

To my guardian angels,

This time of year it hurts the most. I miss you everyday. I thank you for loving me the days you were here. Thank you for reminding me what it’s like to know love beyond life. I feel you with me through every tribulation and jubilation. Thank you for all of the moments and memories we did have. They’ll never be enough, but I trust that I will see you again. That we will get the chance to see each other and say face to face “I love you” one more time. That we will get a chance for a hundred million more thank yous.

To my best friends,

You guys mean the world to me. I would do anything for you and I know you would do the same. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve shared so many memories and heartbreaks. I’d just like to thank you for being there. We may not get to see each other all the time, but I thank you for being a phone call away. I thank you for the countless sleep overs. I thank you for the late night trips to Walmart and Early Bird and wherever life takes us. I thank you for supporting me. I thank you for not giving up on me. I thank you for letting me be 100% myself. Thank you for being BA women I can count on.

To my teachers and professors,

First, to my teachers in Elementary/Middle/High School. Without you I would not be where I am today. Without your influence in my life I would not aspire to be a teacher. I would not want to give the same love you showed me to my future students. To my teachers in high school, I cannot thank you enough. You helped me through some of the hardest times in my life. Thank you for having my back and understanding when I fell. To my English teachers, thank you for showing me your love for English. Without your passion for literature, Ted Talks, writing, poetry I would not share the same passion for English. Thank you for making English fun—from the Crucible play, to the Gatsby party, to Poetry Out Loud. Thank you for inspiring me to be an English teacher. Thank you for being the two women I still look up to the most today. To my favorite high school secretary, thank you for letting me hang out in your office for hours on hours. Thank you for letting me make copies when I had forgotten to print out a paper. Thank you for still being the best mentor and friend a girl could ask for. Thank you for becoming like family.

Second, to my professors in college. Thank you for caring. Thank you to my advisor for letting me freak-out and vent even though you already have a solution. Thank you to my English professors for having so much knowledge (it intimidates me very much, but I hope to have that much in my brain one day too). Thank you to my Education professors. You are the bomb. You cared about me from the second I claimed “Education” as my major and I can’t begin to thank you for that.

To my English Ed. fam,

You guys have a new place in my heart, but it’s a full place. Thank you for accepting me when I changed my major. Thank you for encouraging me to blog—without you guys I wouldn’t be writing this post. Thank you for the study-sessions. Thank you for not making me feel bad for Sparknoting or not reading at all. Thank you for sharing my love for books and teaching. Thank you for ranting to me and letting me rant back. Thank you for choosing English Education, because I don’t know what I would do without you guys.