At any properly stocked Urban Outfitters, one can find books about the most random and unthinkably weird stuff that you would never think should be in a published book. You may find things like “Hot Guys and Puppies” or “Hilary (Clinton) The Coloring Book”. A favorite of mine was “P.S. I still hate it here,” a book comprised of comical letters children sent home to their parents from overnight camp. So, I thought that someone should create one with funny camper quotes. I took this mission upon myself for this past summer while I was a camp counselor for 11 year olds. Here are some of the most amusing ones I heard. And I promise that every single one of these were actually said by campers.
“Counselors aren’t real people, they are there to serve campers”
“You’re a counselor? I thought you were just a bossy camper”
“I turn into a cat when the lights are off”
“I don’t understand why no one in our cabin believes in Witches”
“I used to cry every time I pooped when I was younger”
“I can communicate with animals now”
“I forgot to take my underwear off, but there’s no going back now”
“The butterfly is just taking a nap”. It was actually dead..
“I have magic fairy wings if you look closely”
“How many children do you have? You’re 19, you’re getting old!”
“I wonder what my emotions look like inside my head like in Inside Out”
“If I could pick any 5 liquids to come out of my fingers on command, I would pick potato salad as one of them”
“I think I was a goat in my past life”
“If Harry Ron and Hermione were real I’d be friends with them”
“I peed 16 times today”
“When I was younger, I was told that if you ate a box of crayons and paper you would poop out a picture. I tried it - it’s not true”.
“Helen Keller is haunting our cabin”
“‘He said the X word’ ‘What’s the X word?’ ‘We’ll I’m not allowed to say it. But… S..E..X…’”
“'What's one of your life goals?’ ‘Mmmmm.... Probably to eat an entire watermelon’."
"I keep kosher so its almost like I'm a vegetarian”.
"The counselors are giving in to the alien revolution so easily. Why aren't they fighting back!? It's very upsetting."
There are many rewarding things about being a camp counselor. You can directly see the impact you have on kids, help them create some of the best friendships and memories they will ever have in their life, and have a great summer yourself with the staff. But, with all that being said, being able to see the unintentional humor imbedded into young kids minds who are away from their parents for the very first time is one of the most entertaining things I have ever experienced. They can be completely themselves and feel incredibly comfortable in the presented environment. And when you put all of that together, you get to hear some of the strangest things ever. Their minds wander free of social constructs or fear of embarrassment and not only are the results immensely entertaining, but the kids are able to settle into their personalities in an absolutely amazing way.
Yes, things that these children sometimes say are absolutely ridiculous, and yes sometimes as a camp counselor, you want to pound your head against a wall for some of the stuff you have to deal with, but it’s so important to laugh and remember how incredible these children are. There are moments that make everything totally worth it. Whether that’s a thank you from a rowdy camper, a first year camper making a friend, or a comical statement about the most random thing you have heard of, these moments happen and are well worth the time and stress the job requires.
