Be who you are. It’s a lovely sentiment. We’ve been told since kindergarten the importance of being yourself. We’re constantly reminded that if we want to make friends, be successful, and not die alone with 15 cats (unless that sounds appealing to you), we need to be ourselves.
And yet the same society that preaches the sanctity of individualism also gives not-so-subtle tips and tricks on how to change everything about yourself to make yourself fit for this world. It’s a catch-22. We’re told to be who we are. But who we are isn’t good enough for the pages of Vogue or to catch that cutie’s eye. In one magazine, there will be articles about the absolute necessity of confidence in yourself, and on the next page, there’s an article about what men hate in women and how to change if you exhibit any of these traits. Hypocrisy, thy name is media.
As a young woman, I am a sponge for what the media says is the “ideal woman.” I am not above feeling down on myself because I don’t look like a supermodel, or I laugh too loud, or the clothes I wear are “out.” I do feel self-conscious, sometimes overly so. And I know tons of others my age who feel the same way.
I have to ask myself: Why? Why do I let some editor at some fashion magazine who doesn’t know me make me feel bad about who I am? Why do I let them make me change things about myself? Why do I give what they think any weight at all and stop me from being me? And why does everyone else seem to have this problem?
I love myself. It took me a while to get here, but I’m so glad I have. Of course, I still have insecurities, and I don’t feel like Beyoncé all the time. But now I sing along to “Partition” as loudly and terribly as I can and don't give a damn what I look like.
Being trendy isn’t a bad thing. Not liking things about yourself is normal, and if you really want to change them, by all means, go for it. But don’t do it because society demands it of you. Just be yourself. Whatever that means.
