How You Can Really Mean it's His Loss

How You Can Really Mean it's His Loss

He can move on, he can talk to a thousand girls, he can leave the party with that girl, but I can promise you one thing, baby girl — you will always be his loss.

As girls, we struggle with self-image and self-esteem issues all the time, and if you say that you don't, you are more than likely lying. Why do we do this exactly? More importantly, why is it so easy for us to tell our friends that the boy doesn't deserve them, but we cannot seem to grasp the same ideas about ourselves? We females are a tangled up mess — but we can fix ourselves and we can do it alone. Some of the more classic stories include the cheater, the one that takes advantage of you, the one that doesn't text back, the one that won't leave his girlfriend for you: these are just some of the situations that really suck and leave us feeling more down about ourselves than ever. But from personal experience, I can promise you that you deserve better, yes, you.

Step 1: Show him what he's missing. Guys hate more than anything when they see that their douchey actions aren't affecting you in some way, so even if they are ripping you apart inside, do not let it show.

Step 2: Know you deserve better because you truly do. If he's torn between you and another girl, let that other girl have him and call it quits. You deserve so much more than to be someone's option. Your friends will tell you the same thing too, listen to them. They aren't lying.

Step 3: Acknowledge the obvious. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Nothing would stand in the way of that, so quit buying the excuses. If he cheats on his girlfriend with you, he's going to cheat on you. Your situation is not unique and you're not special or different no matter what he says. However, you are special in your own unique way, all on your own. Stop settling for less. You don't need him.

Step 4: Listen to your gut. Your stomach never lies to you. When you feel nauseous like you're going to throw up, it's because you are. So when you have superstition and are questioning his motives, it's because you should be.

So, that's all, right? All it takes is four simple steps and reading this article to make you get over that boy? If only it was that easy for everyone. Maybe reading this is all it will take, or maybe you genuinely liked someone a lot and still don't feel any differently than you did before reading this. If you're over that jerk, I'm genuinely very happy for you. However, if you aren't, do not be ashamed. As girls we are fragile. We were created with more hormones and way more sensitive emotions than probably any guy we will ever meet.

I am not a magician or an expert in any way, but I do know something that will help how you are feeling now: time. Time has a powerful way of healing our broken pieces back together. I can say from personal experience that this can be the solution. My first high school love completely ripped me apart. I thought I had found the one and when things got ugly, he left me for another girl and there I was — alone. It felt as though my whole world had fallen apart. Until the day I saw it for what it was. I could not make him be with me, I could not make him change his terrible habits, I could not change what had happened, but I could move on.

I moved on for myself by myself. I did not go looking for the typical "rebound." Instead, I focused on me, myself and I. The one person I knew that would always have my back. I set personal goals, went to a college far away, hung out with friends. I made things about me and not about a stupid boy; and before I knew it, weeks had passed, months had passed, a year had passed. I thought about him less and less until I could finally say I moved on. I can vouch for moving on being possible because I did it, you can move on too. I believe in you.

The next time that boy texts you, delete it. The next time that boy calls you, ignore it. When it's midnight and the song you used to sing together comes on, change it. Blare Taylor Swift. Go out with your friends. Do something that you've always been to chicken to do. The next time you see him at party, when he likes his ex-girlfriend's picture, when he tells you he'll dump her, the next time he hits you, or says he'll change for the thousandth time, tell yourself you deserve better so many times until you start to believe it is true. He can move on, he can talk to a thousand girls, he can leave the party with that girl, but I can promise you one thing, baby girl — you will always be his loss.

Cover Image Credit: Letting Go

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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If You THINK You're Too Dependent On Your Boyfriend, You Probably Are

Depend on yourself before you depend on him.


Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend and being in love is an incredible feeling. But when you depend on your boyfriend for everything and forget how to do things on your own, it becomes a major problem. You might not see it but your family and friends do. Yes he's your boyfriend and of course, you want to spend every single second with him but you can't carry him around in the back of your pocket for the rest of your life. So here's to the girls who are too dependent on your boyfriends, I think you girls might want to hear this.

First and foremost, I completely understand what it's like to be in love and want to spend every second with your boyfriend. I get that he is one of your best friends, one of the people you can trust the most, one of the sources of your happiness, one of your stress relievers, one of the things that brings you comfort, one of the people you can rant to for anything, one of the people that you can cry to about anything, one of the people that you want to make memories with, one of the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with and so much more.

Did you notice I said one of, for all that? He is just one of the people you can go to for all of that, not the only one. You have friends and family who can do all of that too. And trust me, we want to. While yes you might prefer him to those other people, it's still important to keep your friends and family in the loop of what's going on in your life and it's even more important just to keep them in your life.

When you choose your boyfriend over your friends and family for everything, you're slowly pushing them out of your life. I, and everyone else who's been where I have been, completely understand if you already have plans with your boyfriend, or if something is going on you want to spend time with him. But to blow off your friends every single time for him is a slap in the face to us. Or to invite him to everything we do is another slap in the face. Of course as friends and family, we want to spend time with your boyfriend but it gets awkward third wheeling.

Go out with your family and friends without him sometimes and make tons of memories, as you did before. Rant and cry to friends and family sometimes instead, we care about you and your feelings, just as much as he does... maybe, even more, when you guys are fighting. When you don't talk to or see your friends and family without him there, you're pretty much telling us that you don't like being around us and that by bringing him, it makes it more bearable for you.

With that being said, you have to let him do the same. You have to let him have time for his family and friends without you. It looks super weird that you follow him around like a lost little puppy dog. Let him have time with the guys, without you being there or showing up at some point. To tag along to every little thing he does isn't healthy. Tagging along to everything thing your boyfriend does, probably makes his friends, a little uncomfortable, especially when they want their guy time and you're the only girl and they don't want you to feel awkward or left out. Or his family wants to spend time with just him and catch up.

Do things apart from each other, so when you are together you have stories to tell and pictures to show them.

Speaking of doing things apart from each other. Don't let an amazing opportunity slip away because you have to spend time away from your boyfriend. Did I leave my boyfriend to do the Disney College Program, hell yes I did. Am I going to apply again in August or maybe January? Hell yes, I am. Don't be afraid to explore things without him, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because you never know when you might get a great opportunity again.

Learning to do things alone is scary, I get it. But don't base your schedule around his, I've seen so many girls do this and it just back fries in the end. Unless you have kids, you do not plan your schedules around him or know where he is at every single second.

You never know, one day he might not be there anymore, and if you're always with your boyfriend and forgetting about friends and family, you might not have them either. And then what? Who do you depend on?

I wish you all would learn to depend on yourself before you depend completely on your boyfriend for everything. You are capable of so many things alone. You might feel like your boyfriend completes you and makes you whole, but in reality, you were already complete without him. He's just an added bonus. Don't give up your friends, family, and life because you want to be attached at the hip. You might lose more than you gain by doing that.

This goes for couples who have been dating for all lengths of time. It could be six months or six years.

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