As girls, we struggle with self-image and self-esteem issues all the time, and if you say that you don't, you are more than likely lying. Why do we do this exactly? More importantly, why is it so easy for us to tell our friends that the boy doesn't deserve them, but we cannot seem to grasp the same ideas about ourselves? We females are a tangled up mess — but we can fix ourselves and we can do it alone. Some of the more classic stories include the cheater, the one that takes advantage of you, the one that doesn't text back, the one that won't leave his girlfriend for you: these are just some of the situations that really suck and leave us feeling more down about ourselves than ever. But from personal experience, I can promise you that you deserve better, yes, you.
Step 1: Show him what he's missing. Guys hate more than anything when they see that their douchey actions aren't affecting you in some way, so even if they are ripping you apart inside, do not let it show.
Step 2: Know you deserve better because you truly do. If he's torn between you and another girl, let that other girl have him and call it quits. You deserve so much more than to be someone's option. Your friends will tell you the same thing too, listen to them. They aren't lying.
Step 3: Acknowledge the obvious. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Nothing would stand in the way of that, so quit buying the excuses. If he cheats on his girlfriend with you, he's going to cheat on you. Your situation is not unique and you're not special or different no matter what he says. However, you are special in your own unique way, all on your own. Stop settling for less. You don't need him.
Step 4: Listen to your gut. Your stomach never lies to you. When you feel nauseous like you're going to throw up, it's because you are. So when you have superstition and are questioning his motives, it's because you should be.
So, that's all, right? All it takes is four simple steps and reading this article to make you get over that boy? If only it was that easy for everyone. Maybe reading this is all it will take, or maybe you genuinely liked someone a lot and still don't feel any differently than you did before reading this. If you're over that jerk, I'm genuinely very happy for you. However, if you aren't, do not be ashamed. As girls we are fragile. We were created with more hormones and way more sensitive emotions than probably any guy we will ever meet.
I am not a magician or an expert in any way, but I do know something that will help how you are feeling now: time. Time has a powerful way of healing our broken pieces back together. I can say from personal experience that this can be the solution. My first high school love completely ripped me apart. I thought I had found the one and when things got ugly, he left me for another girl and there I was — alone. It felt as though my whole world had fallen apart. Until the day I saw it for what it was. I could not make him be with me, I could not make him change his terrible habits, I could not change what had happened, but I could move on.
I moved on for myself by myself. I did not go looking for the typical "rebound." Instead, I focused on me, myself and I. The one person I knew that would always have my back. I set personal goals, went to a college far away, hung out with friends. I made things about me and not about a stupid boy; and before I knew it, weeks had passed, months had passed, a year had passed. I thought about him less and less until I could finally say I moved on. I can vouch for moving on being possible because I did it, you can move on too. I believe in you.
The next time that boy texts you, delete it. The next time that boy calls you, ignore it. When it's midnight and the song you used to sing together comes on, change it. Blare Taylor Swift. Go out with your friends. Do something that you've always been to chicken to do. The next time you see him at party, when he likes his ex-girlfriend's picture, when he tells you he'll dump her, the next time he hits you, or says he'll change for the thousandth time, tell yourself you deserve better so many times until you start to believe it is true. He can move on, he can talk to a thousand girls, he can leave the party with that girl, but I can promise you one thing, baby girl — you will always be his loss.