When I was a freshman in college, I didn't have any confidence in myself - this included confidence in my abilities, my personality, my outer appearance, and so on. Heck, I didn't have any of this growing up because I was constantly comparing myself to others. However, once I hit college, that fear of incompetency just skyrocketed during the first two years.
What did I do to overcome this fear after these first two years, you ask? It ain't no speedy medicine, that's for sure. It did take a long while for me to slowly build confidence and reject the fears in my life. There are multiple components to this. Let me break it down for you.
1. Time will tell
Every day you wake up, you are a day older. By being older, you are naturally more mature than you were the day before, more aware, understand more things, more situations, and of course, have more emotional intelligence. Max that out over a four-year span. You are indefinitely different now than you were during the first semester of college. Because of this incremental transition, you will start learning how to make better decisions, learn from your past mistakes and know how to handle certain situations later on.
2. Surround yourself with people who are building you up, not bringing you down
You may not know it, but there are people who make your life for the better. Do you know who these people are? If you want to decrease the amount of fear in your life, find these special ones. Is it the colleague who always smiles and says hi to you whenever you see each other or the girl who is always willing to explain to you a certain concept from class? Your life will only get brighter and be filled with more life if you surround yourself with people who you can learn from, are genuinely kind, and encourage you to reach your goals. Once you have these people in your inner circle, you'll start to realize that your fears will begin to draw further away.
3. Know that you will NEVER be without fear - and accept it
Fear will almost always become a normal thing in life (shocking! but true). In fact, it is the obsession over fear that will ruin you. Think about it, what will fear lead you to? More fear? And how will fear help you get through whatever you need to get through? Probably nowhere. Fear is normal, and actually, healthy. When you go through unexpected changes or uncertainty, there will always be a fear of the unknown for the future or the result. Thus, the only healthy thing to do is to do whatever you can do in your power and believe that you had the ability to do the best you could do. If things turn out okay, then awesome, good for you. However, if not, you know you did the best you could and I assure you, a shining open door will come if you continue to put your best foot forward.
Now, you know that fears will always exist throughout the different stages in our lives. We start off fearing the failure of a class to fearing commitment with a partner. As we mature, our fears mature, too. However, in following these above three steps, you can minimize the effect that fears may have on you.
