I don't know about you, but growing up, everyone always reminded me to "treat others the way you want to be treated." It was on posters on the walls of classrooms, our parents repeated it to us constantly—and yet as we've grown older, we've strayed away from the idea of respect (and genuine concern for others, if we're being honest).
The first time I ever really noticed just how mean someone could be was in middle school—the best of all places, I know. We had a two-hour block of study hall due to state mandated testing, and behind me sat a girl and a boy in the back of the classroom, chattering. After about an hour of their chattering, they thought that it would be funny to start a rumor about me that was not only false, but extremely inappropriate. At first, I tried to stand up for myself, but eventually got tired of the constant harassment and just started to ignore the issue.
Thinking back as to why I am the way I am today, this is probably part of the reason. I am so scared to trust someone, and I constantly get anxious about what people think of me. It's amazing how one untrue rumor lead to a whole pile of issues. I was amazed at the audacity of people to even believe the said rumor, let alone to then turn around and bully me about it.
This whole situation could have turned out much differently for me, had I not had a positive outlook on the situation. I hoped, wished, prayed that this would stop, and eventually people grew out of their whole phase of making fun of me and some even apologized. But, it took up until high school for people to do so. Once we all grew up and those said people would apologize, I truly only had two responses to them.
1. As a friend, why wouldn't you stick up for me?
2. How would that make you feel?
Certainly, I could have let the two-almost-three-year occurrence tear me down, and quite honestly, that is what happens to the majority of people that these kinds of things happen to. Once I heard someone tell me that "you only become the victim of bullying if you allow it to happen" and after experiencing it first hand for my entire middle school career, I can say that that is the most inaccurate statement that I have ever heard. While I didn't let their words completely override me, it definitely took its toll on me.
As I grew older, people became more sly about their ways with words, and don't get me wrong, a lot of people grew out of their stage of being rude. However, there are plenty that haven't. I am sure from time to time, not-so-kind words have slipped out of my mouth—we're humans, it's natural to make mistakes. But, there are still people who are obsessed with the idea of putting others down and doing petty things like bragging about what they have to those who are less fortunate.
Parents, be aware of what your children are doing, what your children are saying, and how they're treating others. A lot of these harsh words start from lessons learned by close friends and family. People aren't born mean, they're taught to be mean. Think about the comments that you bring to the platter that your children might hear you saying. I'm not saying to watch over your kid like a hawk—because no one wants that, but be aware that your child is not perfect, and neither is the next one. A little bit of attention toward the issue goes a significant way.
So, now that I have shared my story, has it brought up a time where you have felt the same way? Have you been the victim? Have you been the antagonist? How would that make you feel?
