Classical musicians, this one is for you. We all know the annoyance that comes with sitting through rehearsals that don’t test our ability to play, but our ability to sit and wait. To everyone out there who has played in a band or orchestra, and has experienced the bountiful boredom that comes with counting rests for hours on end (s/o to percussionists everywhere), you know exactly what I’m talking about. So as I sit here at the Tanglewood Music Festival counting through Bartok and Prokofiev and averaging around 5-10 actual notes per hour, I thought I’d share some insight with y’all about some solutions to the endless wait.

1. Bring Headphones

There’s nothing a conductor loves seeing more than a musician incredibly focused on his or her musical study. Therefore, utilizing breaks in your part to listen to other music (and perhaps the occasional amusing video) is a truly honorable solution to boredom. Your presence at this rehearsal should say, “Look bro, you may want to rehearse, but I got stuff to do.” The conductor will indubitably appreciate your exemplary work ethic, and in all likelihood excuse you for missing the rest of your entrances. If he or she were to, for some reason, be mad at you for simply using your time so wisely, assume that they are just old, outdated, and not understanding of your generation’s technological advancements and continue with your entertainment.

1.5. Don't Bring Headphones

So it seems you've forgotten your headphones. Not to worry, anything you're listening to, studying, or, more likely, rudely laughing at in the midst of a pianissimo section, is still far more important than anything happening around you. So brush off the rude glares and malicious comments directed toward you and remember that you're kind of a big deal.

2. TETRIS®

As a musician, you have a busy schedule of packing gear for rehearsals, traveling to rehearsals, getting to rehearsals, sitting through rehearsals, not playing anything significant in rehearsals, packing your gear after rehearsals, and traveling home from said rehearsals. You have no time to waste, and therefore to maintain your stellar spot on the Tetris local leaderboard, you need to spend every available moment training. How can your superiors be mad if they know you're simply bettering yourself and maximizing your personal efficiency? Be sure to dictate to the conductor in advance that they may have to wait for you if a high score is approaching; that way they can purposely navigate the rehearsal around any of your parts. A symbiotic relationship!

3. Learn Your Notes

Look, you don’t have much to play in this rehearsal, so of course you didn’t spend time preparing for it. Really, who prepares for their rehearsals? Again, we’ve been over personal efficiency, and this “preparation” everyone talks about would certainly disrupt your own time management. So why not harness your free rehearsal time to learn the notes you're responsible for playing? This is especially relevant for percussionists - know that absolutely no one will notice if you just work out your xylophone notes using the backside of your mallets. Just remember that the rather significant amount of sound that is still audible is just your imagination, and that no one else will notice. Using this technique will not only allow you to increase your at-home distraction-free TETRIS® time, but also earn you major brownie points with conductors; they’ll see you challenging yourself by looking at your parts for the first time at the last possible second. The time you spend now may even increase your performance potential from the level of “middle-school-all-star-band” to “slightly-better-middle-school-all-star-band”.

(#PMEA)

4. Coach Other Musicians

Look, it’s not your fault that you're a supreme musician that has been given a less than full part. However, it is undoubtedly your responsibility to assist the probably less fantastic musicians around you in their quest for greatness. In your time off, be sure to identify each and every one of your colleagues’ mistakes. Correct them for their incompetence, and most importantly, demonstrate proper execution for them, specifically on their own instrument - how else will they be able to learn? Your conductor is clearly overwhelmed working with an entire orchestra all at once, so your assistance in correcting and (more importantly) ridiculing other players will earn you praise and royalty from your conductor and fellow musicians alike. Plus, this strategy is a foolproof method for passionately and assertively demonstrating your personal superiority to all other musicians.

5. Sleep

You’re tired. You've had a rehearsal every day this week, and you’ve had to eat and drive places too. It’s a stressful life you live, and therefore, you deserve a break. While this power nap might not increase your current attentiveness, your fellow musicians and superiors will trust that you are preparing yourself to be incredibly awake and aware whenever it is that you wake up. They will understand that your hibernation is simply maximizing your potential for nailing the excerpt in the final movement of this piece. You’re really just being thoughtful for everyone else on stage.

So the next time you have an especially long, especially dry, and especially empty rehearsal in front of you, be sure to use this fail-proof advice to win the hearts of audiences and colleagues alike.