The holidays are a wonderful time to be with family, play some football, and be forced to listen to your relative's political opinions that you may not agree with. And of course, you get bombarded with questions that you will have to answer over and over and over and over...
Here are a few ways to survive the holidays this year.
1. Wear the proper attire.
Wearing these shirts will guarantee that your relatives will avoid all questions and move on to the next niece or nephew.
2. Google some crazy conspiracies ahead of time.
You know some of your relatives are going to talk politics, especially after this election. Be a troll and fire back with some completely unrealistic conspiracies about either candidate. It may throw off your relative and convince them to stop talking about it, or just weird them out so they stop talking to you.
3. Sit at the kids table.
Ah, the kids table. This is where I always hated sitting, however, kids don't usually care about politics, who you are dating, or even know what college really is. If you sit here you may avoid all of these topics. However, you may be forced into some conversation about cartoons, or whatever musical.ly is.
4. Guide the conversation.
If there is an awkward pause, it may turn to politics, or questions about yourself. Make a list of weird or interesting topics for these moments. Talk about sports, or something crazy in the news. As long as the names "Trump" and "Clinton" aren't in there, you are golden.
5. Use jokes.
No matter what political affiliation you are, using jokes to ease the mood always works. One of my favorites is the "donating your time" joke. If your crazy uncle only wants to talk about Trump, say something like "Every minute you talk, I'm donating $5 to Bernie Sanders or Planned Parenthood." If they mention Clinton, say something like "Oh, you'll have to email me about that." Easing the mood may ease the entire holiday.
6. Resist fighting.
Let's be real. Politics are going to come up. We may have to listen, which is completely fine. But if it gets to a point where you are personally offended, don't fight. Holidays are the worst time to start an argument and cause heat between you family forever. Walk away, stay quiet, or say you are going to go get a drink.
7. Speaking of drinks...
Hey, it may work. Just don't over do it and then you become the rowdy family member.
8. Make the seating arrangements.
If you are blessed with having the holidays at your house, use it to your advantage. Set the tables in a way so that the adults won't fight, and the teens and kids will be able to eat peacefully (or the other way around if need be.)
9. One or the other.
If the conversation is about you and you are dreading this, you may need to turn it to politics to save yourself. If the conversation about politics is unbearable, turn it back on yourself. The lesser of two evils, am I right?
10. Show up late, leave early.
Show up late so you miss all the pre-dinner side conversation and you go straight to dinner. Leave early to miss all of the after dinner side conversation, but make sure you snag some pumpkin pie.
11. Join in.
Hey, maybe fighting about politics is your thing. There's nothing stopping you. Just don't make your family shun you forever and then 100 years from now you are all estranged.
And that is the best advice I have for you this post-election holiday season. My wishbone wish is that you all survive.
