Procrastinating is an art form. Being able to gracefully put off doing something while still being able to justify your actions to those around you, as well as to yourself, is a true talent that takes years to cultivate. I consider myself to be one of the elite, professional procrastinators of this world. At times it feels like my entire life is just one deadline after the next, almost all of which I forget are approaching. As second semester begins, there’s no better time to start procrastinating (you have all semester to get good grades! No point in starting now). Here are some tried-and-true techniques to get you started on your journey of procrastination.
The Internet
This is the most obvious one. Everyone has used Twitter, Instagram, stalked Odyssey articles, etc. to procrastinate at least once in their life. The best part about this one is that it’s so relatable. If anyone asks why you haven’t started your 10 page paper due in 12 hours yet, you can just laugh about it: “Oh, I was going to start, and then I ended up watching The Office for three hours!!!!!!! Hahaha!!!!! So relatable!!!!” and whoever is accusing you of procrastinating will laugh with you because they, too, have fallen into the internet trap.
Sleeping
It is a scientific fact that you focus better after you have a good night’s sleep. So, really, it’s not even worth trying to start any sort of work until after you’ve taken a nap. And what if that 15-minute power nap turns into a 6 hour “nap”? Even better! That’s 24 times the focus that you’ll be able to put into the endless amount of Facebook cooking videos you’ll watch!
Spacing Out
While not the most sustainable, spacing out and staring off into space is a good way to procrastinate smaller things, or a good last-ditch effort to continue procrastinating a big thing. It also works as a good filler in between other tactics. For example, imagine you’re watching a solid movie on Netflix. It ends, and you sit there for a while, pondering the movie. Your train of thought chugs along, and you think about life for a while. Then, exhausted from all that thinking, you take a nap. Spacing out segways beautifully into more procrastination.
Expert: Doing Other Productive Things
This is my absolute favorite way to procrastinate, because it’s hard to feel bad about yourself for procrastinating when you’re still getting stuff done. Cleaning, exercising, and doing other homework assignments that aren’t as urgent as the one you’re actually putting off are all great ways to use this next-level technique. And none of the things you’re doing to procrastinate feel as bad while you’re procrastinating as they do when you just do them regularly. Like, cleaning is the actual worst, but when I’m cleaning my room so I don’t have to do a long reading, I take enjoyment in being as methodical and thorough as possible; when I’m not using cleaning to procrastinate, I run the vacuum around for three minutes and call it a day.
All in all, procrastinating is a beautiful thing, and a skill that I firmly believe everyone should master. Eventually, you can use procrastination on literally anything, from online quizzes to going to the bathroom. There’s no better way to spend your time than not doing what you should be!
