Not a day went by during the school months that I, or someone around me, did not express the desire to be back in bed. Whether this utterance occurred in an 8 am lecture class or on the tail end of a night out, the yearning to be snuggled up and settled down was strong.
And now, overwhelmed with days free from class (sorry, unlucky summer-schoolers), the summer months accompany a dangerous and manipulative temptation; that of leaving your bed. People will attempt to entice you with talk of sunshine-soaked hikes, leisurely lie-outs on the beach or fresh festivals and farmer’s markets, but do not fall prey to their cunning rhetoric. Every true school-escapee knows that vacation’s real place is in bed, under the covers, rolling around to find various positions of optimal comfort.
The summer sleeper must adopt a doomsday prep-er mindset; keep large quantities of everything you will possibly need close at hand, minimizing time spent out of your relaxation roost. From provisions to entertainment, it is your responsibility to ensure maximum preparation for the three months of lazing that lie ahead of you.
Perhaps the most important step, cultivate your Netflix queue. Develop the perfect balance of TV shows and movies, comedies and dramas, DIY shows and political documentaries. Travel shows are especially prime for a day in bed. Why would you go through the hassle of visiting a country and experiencing its culture when you can watch Anthony Bourdain do it instead, all from the coziness of your mac-n-cheese stained comforter and your prime view of your neighbor’s dog’s daily routine?
Ensure a strong Internet connection so your various social media outlets can keep up to tabs on all the silly summer-ers who aren’t taking advantage of their time off in the smart way you are. Scoff at exotic Instagrams, ironically like Facebook photos announcing internships and graduations, or retweet your friends’ party posts with a condescending eye roll.
Find a comfy spot for your gym shoes, workout clothes and other exercise paraphernalia, preferable somewhere out of sight. They might get lonely, so consider throwing any maps, travel guides, or your passport in with them for company.
Keep food nearby. Consider investing in a mini-fridge/microwave combination to elevate your command-central and stock it with easy-to-prepare, silverware-optional offerings. Think non-perishables that will last through long stretches of Project Runway marathons and Gatorade for especially exhausting Pinterest sessions. Instant coffees, Lunchables and protein bars ensure sustenance for recovering from taxing naps, and require none of the travel time and messy cooking of picking up un-pre-prepared farmer’s market food.
