How to Speak Pretentious Coffee Language | The Odyssey Online
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How to Speak Pretentious Coffee Language

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How to Speak Pretentious Coffee Language

As most college students or young people between the ages of 18-24 believe, knowing about coffee is a skill that is expected of the modern population. The following is a list of the major coffee beverages the hip young folks are drinking while they walk somewhere in a fashionable hurry wearing slouchy beanies and updating their food-based Instagrams.

1. Latte vs. Cappuccino

As you can probably tell from the spelling of these words, the origin is Italian. Both are "fluffier" coffee drinks, as both are prepared with hot milk. So what separates these two beverages? Well, get ready because it is a pretty earth shattering distinction. It’s a couple ounces of milk. A cappuccino has less milk than a latte (and, consequently, less calories) making it the stronger of the two espresso drinks. Fun fact: The name "cappuccino" comes from Capuchin friars’ habits or their tonsured white heads surrounded by ring of brown hair. The more you know.

2. The Flat White

We’ve all seen the Starbucks signs advertising these new espresso additions to their drink menu, but what exactly is a flat white? And more importantly, what does it taste like? The flat white is of Australian origin, and has only been around since the ‘80s. It’s made up of a double shot of espresso (make sure you have no pre-exsisting heart conditions) and a whole lot of steamed micro foam. This foam is super thick and velvet-y, and if you’ve spent enough of your life on Tumblr, you’ll recognize the flat white as the star of most "coffee art" creations because it’s such a thick canvas for drizzling syrup.

3. The Mocha

Similar to the latte, the mocha is espresso with hot milk, but with a super special added ingredient: chocolate. Unless otherwise specified in the name of the beverage, mochas are generally made with dark or milk chocolate. PSA for all you healthy decision makers: when you order a “skinny mocha” you’re ordering a mocha made with powdered skim milk and sugar-free chocolate additive, the origins of which are pretty mysterious and probably synthetic. So, trade-off wisely, dieters.

4. Caffé Americano

This is fancy language for coffee. Some argue it’s a little stronger and less sweet than American "drip-style" coffee, but that depends really on where you order it. If you order this drink, do not expect any creamer to be in it. As Americans, our need for creamer and sweetener is generally looked down upon by other more hardcore coffee-drinking countries, so if you want cream and sugar in your coffee, specify this when you order, and save yourself a little judgment from your trendy effortlessly-cooler-than-you barista.

5. The Frappucino

As few may know, the frappucino is an item invented by Starbucks specifically for the American market. Essentially, a frappucino is an ice-based milkshake with or without the addition of espresso. It is the weakest coffee beverage on most menus, and generally the highest in calories. If you want to avoid the frappucino but aren’t ready for full-on espresso-crafted beverages, an iced coffee with cream is a good jumping off point. You’ll get a little more caffeine this way, and you can avoid toting around a glorified milkshake with you as you do adult life things.

Now that you know the basic makeups of these coffee creations, go forth and order with true caffeine confidence.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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