“Did I do something wrong?” That is the main question women ask when a potential dating candidate does not want to further their relationship. Of course, as a way to lift spirits, they would lie and put all blame on the men.

The honest answer to this question is: probably.

See, when in a relationship, or at least the beginning of what could be, we become so optimistic in hopes that this would be the happily ever after that we all seek. Since having the perfect happy ending is becoming a crucial way to fit into the social norms of society, we care so much in finding the perfect man and making it “Facebook Official” that we no longer care about how the men will react to our intense advances. We have all been there before. Most of the time, we honestly do not even know that what we are doing is completely catastrophic to a blooming relationship.

After hearing many stories by some heartbroken friends, I have noticed that they all have the same failing traits:

1. Jumping To Conclusions

Ladies!! This is a big no-no. We have all been victims of an overactive mind to where a late text reply meant that he was locked in his room with a mistress. That is (hopefully) not the case! Anything could have happened to where he was unable to respond to your “What are you doing now?” text. Instead of tackling him with accusations about what you think he was doing, simply sit down and do your own thing. Trust me, jumping to conclusions will only cause you stress and will make you look bad.

2. Making The Relationship Too Public

It is okay to change your relationship status online. It is a perfectly normal way to show everyone that you are no longer single and that you are in a happy relationship. However, changing it after the first date is borderline crazy. Also, if you tend to put every fight you have on social media, stop that right away! Not only does your boyfriend not want everyone knowing what happens to you both, but we do not want to hear about it either! Whatever battles you are going through, make sure you handle it in private.

3. Being Too Clingy

Now, I know that there are some men out there that enjoy having a girlfriend who shows that they care. However, being overly attached is an unattractive trait and can often scare men away. If you are constantly sending your boyfriend texts about how much you miss him (even though they just left your house 5 minutes ago) and how much you love them every few seconds, it could result in him feeling suffocated.

4. Constantly Complaining

Life is hard, we all know this. There will be days where all we want to do is vent to our men about how Susan stole the stapler in the office or how our boss keeps undermining us. It is natural to call them with tears in our eyes when we are backstabbed by a close friend. However, constantly complaining when the most insignificant thing happens only makes you sound like a Negative Nancy. Though complaining is natural, make sure it is worth something to complain about. Complaining to your boyfriend about how you did not get enough likes on Instagram is not making you look good, boo!

5. Keeping Them From Friends/Family

Nothing is more important to a man like his friends and/or family. If you are the kind of girlfriend who feels the need to consume all of his free time, then maybe you should reevaluate your rank in his hierarchy. Look, I am not saying that you are not important to him. He could view you as his whole world. Just keep in mind that to him, his family and his friends will always come first. The last thing you want is for his friends and family to dislike you because they feel that you are keeping them away. You definitely do not want him to make the decision to choose between you or them.

6. Demanding Proof Of Love

I have personally struggled with this before. I feel that this is one of the unhealthiest habits that some women have. We like to feel loved, and we like it even more when we are reminded of how loved we are. Demanding your boyfriend to consistently remind you of how much they care and love you will cause a feeling of doubt in them. They will feel like they aren’t doing enough and will slowly give up. If they don’t love you, they won’t want to be in a relationship with you.

7. Being Overly Jealous

Okay ladies, I have come to find out that nothing irritates a man more than having an overly jealous girlfriend. Sure, it may look cute at first. Although jealousy may come off as a sign that you care for them, getting jealous all the time becomes quite annoying. It’s understandable that the more time you spend with them, the more possessive you become. I get that. But it is important that you value yourself as well. If you start getting jealous over something silly, like his ex-girlfriend liking his profile picture on Facebook, then it will come off as a lack of trust. After all, he is with YOU, right?

8. Being Petty

Okay, I admit, I use to be the queen of pettiness. After looking back at everything, I have come to realize that the random acts of pettiness that I threw at my man only made me look immature. It did not help anything. Ladies, being petty is not going to solve anything. In fact, it will actually make it worse than it really is. The last thing you want is for your boyfriend to think you are a child who still thinks that these high school shenanigans will gain his attention again.

9. Playing Hard To Get

Whoever said that playing hard to get always worked was completely wrong! There is a fine line between making a man think you are cute and independent and making him think you are absolutely uninterested. The easiest way to show a man that you are independent is to be confident. Show interest, but also show that you do not need him. If you play too hard and constantly have your nose in the air, it will only drive him away.

10. Stalking

This is a huge negative. Not only is this possibly the breaking point of the relationship, but this is a crucial sign that the relationship is just not working anymore. If you have to stalk your boyfriend on social media to make sure he isn’t talking to someone else, then the trust is gone. This is also not a good look for you, ladies. Stalking is the lowest point we can go, and getting caught will only result in embarrassment and disappointment. If you even think of stalking in any way, maybe it is time to cut the ties.

Stay away from these traits, ladies. Also, don’t forget that the most important rule is to love yourself first.